I’d add,

* Opera man or Lady get’s a calling during sacrament.

* We re-institute Sunday School songs after Sacrament and play a primary songs and sing with the kids.

* If our favorite Football team (BYU) just won a game the day before, we have to sing the school fight song during Priesthood or Relief Society… Go Cougars!

It ends up almost always being faster than the hymn tempos to which ward members are accustomed, which makes some a little uncomfortable. I’ve actually had people complain I’m playing the hymns too fast (insert eye roll here).

To my knowledge, such instructions have never been issued by the Brethren. I would be VERY surprised if it did happen.

1. I don’t think anyone here mentioned (in reply to Nick L.)that the author of Amazing Grace, John Newton, was at one time a slave ship captain who had a rebirth of spiritual interest after a storm at sea. Myself, I would feel pretty wretched if I had come to a realization that I helped shuttle human beings in horrifyingly filthy conditions into the utter depravity of slavery in the “New World.”

With that being said . . .

2. My wife and I are both musicians–she with a degree in Music Therapy, and myself with a Masters in Conducting. We both have to look at each other and smile (or grimace) when we hear some of our beloved hymns played/sung at dreadful tempi. For us, we are saddened when someone gets up in sacrament meeting and sings with poor intonation and a halfhearted effort. We also have commented on the lack of variety in our worship music. We both have taken a “sabbatical” from singing in our ward choir because, and this may sound selfish, we would like to sing some of the great “classics” of sacred choral literature.
When my wife was ward choir director several years ago, we included the “Candlelight Carol” of John Rutter in the program. We changed some of the words to fit with LDS doctrine, but it was well received. It hasn’t been done since, except for my programming a band arrangement with my community band. No one will be brave enough to even suggest it or anything like unto it.

3. I just heard a trombone choir on “Music and The Spoken Word.” We would also like to see more of a variety of instruments/styles in our worship services. Why not a brass quintet, or a popular rendition of well-known primary songs? OK, maybe not in the style of Viking Death Metal, but I think you know where I am coming from. Our ward eats it up when my wife and I get up and play “Come Follow Me” as arranged for two clarinets and piano. The win-win solution would be to add more variety, but to do so in a way that lets the Spirit in.

4. And if I may be brutally honest, part of the problem that I am seeing is that many of our children are being raised in homes that don’t place much value on music. The overall level of music education among the North American members of the church is fair, at best. It is seen as just a formality in our meetings. I taught for two years in a school district where the biggest whiners in my band program were LDS kids. They were great athletes, though. Perhaps, if we as members will not only encourage our children to play/sing in their school ensembles (Band/Choir/Orchestra), but seek opportunities for ourselves to do the same in community groups, maybe . . . just maybe, the overall quality of our music will go up. Although I feel I could be just preaching to the choir on this issue. (I just had to say that.)

5. I learned when I was an undergraduate, attending the Logan LDS Institute, that it was common a long time ago to sing the words of “Oh My Father” to the tune of Stephen Foster’s “Gentle Annie.” Try it sometime–it works.

On “Oh, My Father” talk about a slow, drawn out song! I can barely handle that once a year!

One final note, we certainly should not limit our music in any church meeting to hymns. There is so much beautiful, worshipful, moving music from a number of sources of which we do not avail ourselves.

Before I was married I dated mostly deaf girl who HATED the organ–she said it made sacrament hymns very difficult for her as she couldn’t feel the beat. But a piano had just enough percussion to it that she could feel/hear the beat and sing along. I recommend more piano usage in the hymns.

I think a wider selection of hymns would be good, but also making sure that people actually USE them would be nice. I swear, if I am ever in a position to make it happen, people will be learning some new songs, and ALL OF THE VERSES WILL BE SUNG. I happen to think it is flat criminal to sing “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief” LESS than once a quarter. That song has more power to it than almost any other song I have EVER encountered. Ditto for “Be Still My Soul”, and it’s a shame we don’t have better copyright claim to that one. I may not sing perfectly, but I try.

I don’t always like to stand, and having four kids sometimes makes that hard, but I think it’s a good idea. Not EVERY week, but I think once in a while. Four hymns: absolutely! Five, six or more? Maybe. It depends, but the speakers need to be braced for it. I am a stickler for schedules and despise it when meetings run over–especially when it means that the bishopric then decides to mangle the closing hymn because of time interests.

The singers of MoTab are all very good musicians, and the choir sounds a lot better under Jepson than it has in a long time. But there are just too many singers–a choir that big inevitably loses some of the vigor and energy of good choral singing. If you want overwhelmingly lush sound all the time, then 300 singers is fine, but if you want a little more nuance and nimbleness, you just can’t work with more than 80-100 people or so. There’s a reason that most of the great choral literature is performed by choirs that size. There’s really no reason to have 300 singers, unless you’re outside or in a really crappy acoustical space, or performing the Mahler Symphony of a Thousand.

I think we need to repeal a whole raft of arbitrary informal “rules” that constrain our worship services within established ruts. I disagree with any blanket policy regarding music tempo, for example. Let the conductor and accompanist regulate these parameters. Sometimes a very slow rendering is quite appropriate and expressive. The problem is with never changing.

Today I heard the Tabernacle Choir singing “What Was Witnessed in the Heavens?” in the most energetic and upbeat tempo, men’s and women’s voices ringing out point/counterpoint. Very stirring and powerful.

I really cannot see bringing in Whoopi Goldberg to jazz up the music.

In the Book of Mormon, Nephi essentially refers to himself as a “wretch”: “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.” (2 Ne. 4:17.)

I understand the point both of you make, but honestly, I see a big qualitative difference between “a wretch like me” vs. “O wretched man that I am”. The first is a noun, and the second is an adjective about behavior. Nephi is being rather had on himself (we’ve all been there), and stating that his behavior is “wretched” in comparison to the standard he expects of himself. Nephi is not, on the other hand, saying that he, himself is a “wretch.”

Even if our behavior can be “wretched,” that does not make us, our very nature, a “wretch.”

Lisa, if your new rules were implemented sacrament attendance would go up. I think once a quarter or twice a year a percussion instrument should be added to the ensemble.

Drums would rock in Book of Mormon Stories!

It would be inspiring to seem some of the old codgers boogie.

I love beautiful classical preludes. These should always be encouraged.

I’d like to bring back music during the passing of the sacrament.

I agree with speeding up songs. I had a friend who was an organist, and a very good one. Yet she played funeral dirges because that was the tempo the director set. She was the musician; the director had no musical experience. The director would have followed her if she’d sped up the music. It drove me crazy that she wouldn’t play faster.

I totally second all of your suggestions. One other one. All the standard Protestant hymns must be labeled as such. When we sing them, I always lean over to my wife and say, “welcome to the Protestant hour, brothers and sisters.” She always hits me! For reference, those are “All Creatures of Our God and King” and “A Mighty Fortress is our God.” And that old perennial, “Onward Christian Soldiers” (I’m surprised no one protested that one!)

I love the idea of singing 4 or 5 hymns during a sacrament meeting. Once, when I was on the High Council, the Stake President dispatched me to a Ward that he heard was “holding an illegally run sacrament meeting.” (my words, not his). I went to the Bishop and said, “I heard you are messing around with the Sacrament Meeting format and the Stake President is hopping mad!!!!” I liked yanking his chain a bit.

So, he tells me that on the 5th Sunday, they sing about 5 or 6 hymns and only have one talk. I tell him I think that sounds wonderful and then I go back and tell the SP that everything is just fine.

On another note, I played drums for a black gospel quartet and we preformed around South Central LA and in Las Vegas. It was a ball. Those churches were rockin’. Not only was I usually the only white guy, but I was Jewish to boot! But I was in heaven there.

Our sacrament meetings are like a funeral by comparison.