I feel for ya. I tried attending a family ward, and hated every second of it. So, I started ward hopping, which is a nice things that singles can get a way with. I finally found someone to marry at age 32, and thought that I might enjoy going to church again.

Well, I started attending the same family ward I did as a single, and I still hated it, though now that I was married, I did feel like I fit in a little better. My wife loved the ward.

About 3 or 4 years later, we moved. Our new ward had even more toddlers than the last ward. To me, it feels like the same ward as my previous one. However, one of the nice things about the new ward, was my calling as Gospel Doctrine teacher. This was a real catalyst for me to study the scriptures much deeper.

I can remember while I was on my mission feeling like church was the least spiritual day of the week. I realized that I was a much more spiritual person. I feel that way now. Church isn’t very interesting for me. The reason for this is because I have made an effort to become more spiritual. I go to church to partake of the sacrament. During the boring talks, I focus primarily on keeping my kids quiet, or I bring an interesting spiritual book to read.

Church can be boring, but we can do things that make our lives more spiritual. I think Andrew’s post is fantastic. I need to focus more on the positive things that people do at church, and not focus on the boring talks. (I have noted, the last 2 weeks have had more interesting speakers, so I haven’t been reading my own books in sacrament.) Anyway, I hope that helps you.

FYI, since I got released from G.D. teacher, I don’t attend sunday school or priesthood anymore, because the teachers put zero effort into making them interesting. Apparently I stirred the pot too much for my bishop’s liking, so he replaced me with the most dispassionate teachers he could find–but they follow the manual to a T, even if everyone is snoring during the lessons.

Instead I do try to focus on my new calling as membership clerk, and bring a spiritual book to read if I run out of filing, updating fast offerings, printing certificates, or other duties that I can come up with.

If the church is true, very sacrifice would be worth it, if not, then no problem moving on. I’ve was in a similar state of mind, at one time, as you appear to be in, so to some degree I can relate. I turned to God and was given a testimony that is undeniable.

You might want to read what brother Christensen did to acquire his testimony. Go here
http://www.ldsaliveinchrist.com/2007/10/test/

Then you start wondering why you are pledging allegiance and donating tithing to a church that doesn’t value you, and to leaders who expect you to be 100 times more honest and have infinitely more integrity than they do. And you wonder about the “little flecks” of history, and think about all the people who had a bad rap and sacrificed too much for the church: what if it isn’t true? Then you research and pray and fast and discover that hey–maybe for you, it ISN’T.

I feel like I should let you know a bit about why I decided to do this post. We bloggers here at Mormon Matters maintain a schedule amongst ourselves to ensure we have consistent posts on an orderly basis. (Despite our free thinking natures, we’re actually quite fascist behind the scenes about details like that. ) I was fully intending to use my scheduled Monday morning slot to post an essay on an entirely different subject. But on Friday, also behind the scenes, us bloggers exchanged some emails amongst ourselves about the tone of the blog. Some were concerned that there was a bit too much negativity and hostility going on. One blogger astutely pointed out that the tone of a blog is set by the posting authors.

With that in mind, I decided on Saturday that I would use my Monday morning slot to do a post called “Why I Am Not a Disaffected Mormon,” and that I would use my experience at church the next day as the subject matter for my post. The reason I bring all this up is that when I went to Church yesterday, I went to church LOOKING for positivity and goodness, and obviously, I found it in abundance. I will be honest, this post does not illustrate a typical Sunday for me. It was better than usual. And I am sure that my prior decision to look for positivity and goodness at Church is the reason why my experience was even better than normal yesterday. In fact, I am now wondering how many of these exquisite Sundays I have missed in the past because I had not committed ahead of time that I would focus on the good. So writing his has taught me (again) that if I want an uplifting church experience, I need to go seeking one, and to put in effort to create and contribute to one. I can’t sit on my hands expecting the speakers and teachers to spoon-feed my a spiritual experience; God isn’t going to just drop one into my lap without my looking for it.

Anyway, I just wanted to pass along that little lesson I learned from writing this post.

Bob (#6) Thanks for the encouragement to continue to seek out my friend. I will take your advice.

annegb (#8) I recognize your name from other blog sites. I’ve always wondered, are you the Anne Porter of Mormon Matters podcast fame, or another Anne? Anyway, thanks for the props. Right back ‘atcha.

Equality (#9) You are hilarious. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at your “Bah! Humbug! (just kidding)” comment. Seriously, though, I recognize you as a frequent visitor of several blog sites and, thinking I know where you stand, I am very thankful for your humorous olive branch.

Aaron (#11) Thanks for the heads-up about your new post; I will have to check it out; sounds like a great topic.

Kaimi (#12) That was very kind of you to give a T&S shout out by linking to the post. Best wishes to you as well.

manaen (#15) Thanks for the prayers for my friend.

Heather (#19) Don’t you fret about the pant suit, girl. If I remember later tonight, I’ll post a quote from a First Presidency Statement about how such dress by women is NOT banned in our church. There’s certainly a difference between our doctrine and our culture, and in this case, maybe the latter looks down on the pant suit, but the former really couldn’t care less. God is just glad you’re there looking for him on Sundays, pant suit and all.

Cody (#21) Great to hear from you. I’d love to catch up; please feel free to email me at admin@burningbosom.com.

Thank you for this touching post. You’ve captured the rhythm of lds life very well here. Glad to hear you’re doing well and kudos to you from an old D.C. acquaitance.

Here are some of my favorite parts:

“we silently make up for this morning”
“The Primary President is at her heels, asking whether she can help with one of the children.”
““Don’t worry,” he reassures, “you’re always on my good side.””
“He’s sitting in his usual position with his arm gently around a boy in his class who has Asperger’s Syndrome.”
“After lunch, I call my old high school buddy’s cell phone number.”

Jesus indicated that the path to perfection (and lasting joy) requires us to love God and love one another. In my experience Mormonism is incredibly useful in helping and encouraging us to be better at both. I liked those examples I just quoted because it shows that the people in your ward are pretty good at both. I think that is not uncommon among us in the church and that makes me happy.

First, I want to thank you for sharing what the Church is all about. Some of us tend to get caught up in doctrinal issues and forget about the real meaning and the Spirit we feel when in the Lord’s service.

Secondly, your thoughts and experiences with your children are thoughts I’ve had on my mind for the past few weeks and I wrote a post about becoming as a child this morning. Your examples with your children are touching and part of what I have been thinking about. I would love to hear some of your insight.

http://www.graceforgrace.com

Thanks for sharing your Sunday.