mormonmagmeister: That is a hilarious story! “Fly, you hedgehog! Fly! Fly!” I think you’re right that people are just too polite to say anything sometimes. I corrected someone once in RS who shared a Paul H. Dunn story (she must have been the last person on the planet who heard his stories were fictional). It was the bullet in the Book of Mormon one. She ended with a tearful testimony that the best part was that it was all true and blah blah blah. I raised my hand and said, “Actually, that story is not true. That did not happen.” She looked like a cake left out in the rain, but a few people thanked me after for pointing out that the story wasn’t true, which they knew but weren’t sure what to do about it.

The story about the missionaries in Spain reminded me of an American missionary in Germany who wanted to tell one of his favorite stories in sacrament meeting (not glurge necessarily, just a faith-promoting analogy). He didn’t speak the language very well yet, but for some reason he decided to try to translate the story on his own. It was the one about the eagle that thought it was a chicken, so the farmer takes it to a cliff and tells it that it’s an eagle and that it can fly, and then he throws it off the cliff, and it flies. Anyway, it’s about realizing who we really are. Well, this missionary translated the story of the eagle and the chickens into the story of the hedgehog (Igel—a false cognate, I guess) and the rotisserie chickens (just picked the wrong word from the dictionary). The congregation listened quietly to the farmer’s words: “Fly, you hegdehog! You have such lovely feathers and long wings. You are not a rotisserie chicken like the others. You are a hedgehog. You can fly.” I can only imagine the missionary’s companion (who did nothing to rescue him) sitting there dying of repressed laughter through the whole thing. Well, the missionary finished his talk, and everyone said “Amen,” though with a bit of a question mark attached to it. I think they all chalked it up the cultural differences—”Those Americans and their kitschy stories. I just don’t get them.”

Matthew 11:30

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

It appears that Jesus DID say that it would be easy. Now, if only I can find where he said it would be worth it…

Thomas Kinkade IS the Painter of Light. He also truly is the Kwisatz Haderach.

T

(hehe)

It’s not the glurgiest story out there (my grandfather ended up being part of the March, not exactly the most feel-good story), but it could easily be told as glurge.

Uggh! This is the most annoying one to me, as it attributes words to Christ that He never said. I personally don’t think it can even be supported scripturally (“His yoke is easy and his burden light” comes to mind.) I served a mission in Hungary from 94-96. When the Hungarian translation of the D&C was finally finished about 18 months into my mission, I was approached one Sunday by a sincere young woman who wanted me to show her where this “quote” was in the D&C. I felt absolutely horrible while I explained to her that it wasn’t a real quotation from any scripture. Somewhere along the line, some well-meaning missionary had shared this “quote” without specifying that it wasn’t actually from scripture.

I don’t mind hearing faith-promoting stories when they’re purposefully used as allegory and/or parable: after all, didn’t Christ use parables to teach His gospel? However, when the stories are presented as truth rather than as parable, a line is crossed from “parable” to “lie,” and I just don’t feel good about “lying for Jesus.”

That was a story by one of the Yorgasons that was sold in booklet form in the 80s. Man, I hated that story.

Actually, pretty well. From the very beginning, I have felt the prompting of the Holy Ghost in my life and have learned to distinguish His voice from the many “voices” that the apostle Paul alludes to. The fact is, deep-down to my very soul, I feel that I have the gift of the Holy Ghost. This is the strongest part of my testimony of the restoration, and keeps my heart and body active in the gospel while my mind tries to sort out all of the many things that I struggle with, both intellectually and behaviorally. But I have to realize that my separation between what I perceive as “spiritual promptings” versus “emotional tugs” may be quite different from someone else. This manifests itself often in fast and testimony meetings, where I might be moved by one type of testimony while many others will be moved by a very different type.

Excellent post. Glurge is evil.

Ray, I can see how what I wrote could be easily misunderstood. I was not criticizing the LDS church, or any individual, for presenting an allegory. I agree that the LDS film was just such an allegory. My intended point was that the LDS film certainly popularized the story, making it part of the LDS culture. In that sense, the LDS church “promoted the story.” The original post here suggests that the story has morphed to the point that people think it’s a true event. I’m willing to be most of those who believe the story are quite unaware of the film, since it was “current” when I was on my mission over twenty years ago. Sorry I wasn’t more clear.

But the D&C also contains a passage that can be construed as divine approval for saying things that are mildly misleading for the sake of motivational or emotional effect:

Nevertheless, it is not written that there shall be no end to this torment, but it is written endless torment.

Again, it is written eternal damnation; wherefore it is more express than other scriptures, that it might work upon the hearts of the children of men, altogether for my name’s glory.

(D&C 19:6-7)

There is a HUGE difference between “glurge” (in my own words, made up crap to elicit an emotional reaction) and “representative/allegorical fiction” (which should be understood by anyone with half a brain as being fiction). Most of what you mention is glurge; some of it is not.

For example, the missionaries story of his brother *should not* have been glurge, and really only was glurge – in its truest sense – if the missionary realized the members would take him literally at the end. If he thought they would “get it” when he mentioned crucifixion, it really doesn’t qualify as glurge.

“Boy agrees to transfuse his ailing sister thinking the procedure will kill him.” I’ve heard that numerous times, and each time it was not presented as glurge, because it was presented as an obvious allegory – a fictional example of unconditional love. Nick, there is NOTHING wrong with “No Greater Love”, unless you want to call it cheesy and overblown. That type of criticism is anyone’s right. To somehow condemn the Church for producing obviously fictionalized dramatizations of a principle is ludicrous hyperbole that simply isn’t worthy of your intellect.

However, the country song “The Little Girl” is classic glurge, since it was based on an internet glurge.

***Based on the broadest definitions of glurge some of you have advanced, Jesus’ parables were glurge – and He should be reprimanded as a lying manipulator for telling them.*** Personally, I’m not going there.

I am admittedly terrible at sourcing my information. I freely admit this. This is because I read so widely and rapidly that I have a difficult time keeping up with what I have read where. But I am absolutely adamant about one thing–if I’m not positive that something is scriptural, I’ll make that clear. If I’m uncertain about a source, I make that clear. If I don’t know an answer I also make that clear. Why? Because I live and die by my references professionally. If I get caught in my professional work making a claim without using a source when I should, then I’m sunk. So I’m careful in my church work to be clear when I don’t have a source or when I’m being lazy and paraphrasing. I never ever ever, however, quote something that I don’t know to be a reliable source as a direct quote from someone. That’s just stupid.

http://www.shields-research.org/Hoaxes/LDSWorld_Internet_Hoaxes_and_Mormon_Urban_Legends.htm#“Free%20the%20Birdies”

It seems pretty clear that he’s saying the story has been corrupted as it’s been passed through the LDS church.