Congratulations! I’m sorry to say it so late! Are you the KC who lived in Belgium when you were a kid? If so, I tried to get in touch with your parents, but no success. Hope everything’s doing well for you!

SteveS: Have you ever spent much time at another university? That is exactly what happens! Ignoring problems, shifting blame, and attacking opponents is by-the-book behavior in most any administration. It’s part of the job description. Again, let’s criticize BYU. Let’s pull back the curtains, pull down the power, shout sins from the housetops. (As you’ve pointed out, it won’t do much good.:)) And you’re right, BYU is very good at deflecting detractors and reigning in dissent. They may be less concerned with *appearing* to be fair and flexible. But there’s one thing I can’ figure out: where the “vast majority” of students and faculty are who think BYU can “do no wrong.” I just didn’t meet many of them. (Sure there are some, maybe more at BYU than some other schools, but you can find their equivalents at Harvard, Yale, Duke, etc.) I did meet some people who complained a lot, and a lot of people who were very aware of the drawbacks of attending a private, church-owned university. But most of these people had weighed the options and made a choice that the advantages outweighed the disadvantages *for them*. It’s the same decision process that you have to make when attending any school, accepting any job, or making any purchase. I guess what strikes me are the number people who act like they were snookered into attending; that enjoy any number of years of a cheap, relatively elite education and then act somewhat self-righteously surprised that they attend a university that actively promotes and protects the interests of its chief sponsor and sugar daddy, the LDS church. I hate to resort to this line, but “you knew what I was when you picked me up.”

The worst example of this attitude that I ever saw was in a Bio 100 class. The syllabus said we were going to do an in-class homework assignment, so students were using their notes to complete it. The professor (class of 900) said into the mike that he saw students cheating on the quiz. Several students responded that the syllabus clearly said it was an in-class homework assignment, not a quiz. This guy just could not admit he made a mistake. He told the class: “You do whatever you think the true gospel of Jesus Christ would tell you to do.” It was one of those moments when you really really really hope actual lightning will strike a person.

Thanks for being the token BYU student. As someone who’s main knowledge of BYU comes from word of mouth and 2 months living next door at the MTC, it is of interest to me. As my oldest daughter enters first grade this year, I can’t help but aspire that she go to the best university for her needs, 12 years from now. BYU doesn’t automatically enter my mind for what I perceive her needs will be (but the affordability is a nice benefit). Things could always change in twelve years, and I certainly would not be disappointed if she chose BYU. A PAC-10 school with a strong institute program (which is my background) is what naturally comes to mind!

1. RHIP

2. How many people are affected if one student is late for class because he can’t find a close parking space? How many people are affected if one professor is late for class because she can’t find a close parking space?

After leaving BYU, I was still a fan of the program, and the football program. One of my daughters early pictures is of sitting in a small chair, with BYU sweats on. She became true-Blue. She set a goal very early on that she wanted to attend the Y. This year she got accepted and this past week has checked in to Helaman Halls and has been attending all the freshman week activities.

I think that BYU is going to be a wonderful experience for her. She is a free-thinker and I know she is going to be frustrated with several things there, but I think she will thrive in all the friends and I hope establish friendships that will last a lifetime.

Just an experience shared for some of you who might be reading this. We were able to get onto the field yesterday before the game. Spent time walking around watching the players warm up, from literally 10 feet away. MAN. THOSE GUYS ARE HUGE! I got to shake Lavell’s hand, we were on the field for the kick-off. WOW! what a great way to start off the season for her. She has the fight-song memorized already. Anyway, I’m a proud daddy of a little girl who will do well at BYU, the daughter of someone who didn’t do well with the oppression. I would not with BYU on my worst enemy, but I’ll do all I can do to provide support for my daughter who thinks BYU is the best thing on earth.

I grew up in Orem, so it was kind of assumed that I would go to BYU. I just made the mistake my freshman year of staying at home, but going to the Y. Big mistake. I just drove down for classes and then came home in the evening. I never established a community. I missed out on much of the fun part of the Y, and was only doing education.

Fast forward 18 months for a mission. I stayed in an apt, but got engaged right before the semester started, and then married during the semester. So… I got about 3 months of apt life. Really not very exciting, though I do remember my roommate and his girl friend having sex in the bed next to me one night. That was interesting. He was our ward Elders Quorum Pres prior to that incident.

I started to get very frustrated with the attempt to completly control my education, personal life, and many other areas. It was just oppressing. I left after my Sophomore year and moved to San Jose CA. I worked for a year and then got 2 degrees in the Bay Area. Leaving BYU was very good for me.

More to come in the next post.

There are plenty of things to dislike about BYU. There are problems that are unique to BYU. There are political battles being waged in every department. Again, just like at every other school in the country. I’m always amused at how smug Mormons feel when they get to bash BYU. Not that we should be afraid to voice an opinion or be critical. That’s fine. You don’t want to go there? That’s fine, too. But let’s not lose sight of reality here: BYU is a university with a high caliber of students and faculty, excellent facilities, extensive educational resources, and is a generally fun, safe place to get a degree. I felt no more limited, controlled, or put upon at BYU than I have at any other university. When problems arise, whether at BYU or at another school, I find a way to work through them, around them, or with them. It hasn’t always been ideal. I’ve been frustrated from time to time. But that seems to be how the world works. As for the people who are dissapointed because they didn’t get married while they were there, or who walked away because they were too “radical” for the poor, provincial hayseeds of Happy Valley, I have to wonder, have you found that all your wildest dreams came true as soon as you were out of Provo? Was everyone you met outside of BYU wonderfully open-minded and sufficiently idealistic for you? Aren’t you glad you got away from that horribly difficult environment and into a place where everyone likes you and understands just how special you are? Okay, so the sarcasm has gotten a little thick. I realize most people have been fairly moderate in their assessments. But I think I just wanted to throw a little sand in the faces of the axe-grinders. Nobody ever said BYU was the Garden of Eden. Get over it and enjoy it for what it is. And be thankful you didn’t have to take out $35,000 a year in student loans.

As for diversity of thought, I’m in a fairly liberal program, social work, and have been surprised by the diversity of thought. Sometimes that’s pleasantly surprised, and sometimes I have to remind myself that everyone has agency to believe what they want, even if it isn’t in line with church standards. Contrary to what you might expect, there are no thought police within the classroom (at the admin level is another matter). I have been challenged in some of my political beliefs, and happily so.

“[Not] all the girls are righteous” — LOL, even though it’s sad.

Ironically, I’m headed back to the Y to join the faculty, perhaps proving that you can leave BYU, but you cannot leave it alone. Haha. Rise and shout!

Fast forward 6 years and I get accepted to the PhD program at BYU that is one of the best in the nation. I walk into the introduction meeting, 8 of us chosen out of hundreds of applicants and we say a prayer. After getting a masters at NYU, that came as a very weird thing to me. Also, when one of the other girls stated that she was there in theprogram simply because she had not yet found a husband, then I waited until the end of the meeting, walked out, called the next day and withdrew from the program. I realized that I had become to radical in my ideas, education and religion, to ever feel comfortable in that controlled environment again.

Interestingly, my wife and I both went to BYU. We both studied International Politics. We both took similar classes. But…we met online years later when she lived in New York and I in Boston. We overlapped at BYU for two semesters and she chides me very much for not going to the library more often to get more opportunities to actually meet her (she worked at the reference desk). Ironically, I’m now a librarian.

I too was surprised at the dating scene. In my year before my mission in California, I went on like 20-30 dates. In all my time at BYU and UVSC (1997-2001), I think I went on like 15 dates.

I don’t think BYU is going to change much to make it more comfortable for a good number of Mormons. And that’s too bad. Because I know I wanted to be around fellow Mormons, but after my experiences there, I prefer now to be around non-Mormons for the most part, and Mormons just at church.

Congratulations, btw.