We know that Joseph shared his affections with women other than Emma; this letter to Sarah Ann Whitney may give some pause and smile with his plight

“On Thursday, August 18,1842 just after Emma’s departure, writing in his own hand, Smith urged his seventeen-year-old bride to “come to night” and “comfort” him – but only if Emma had not returned. It is not clear who the courier was-presumably not Emma – but Joseph judiciously addressed the letter to “Broth, and Sister, Whitney, and &c.” The letter itself leaves no doubt who “&c.” was. The complete text reads as follows.”
From the forthcoming book: _Nauvoo Polygamy . . . “but we called it celestial marriage”_

“Nauvoo August 18th, 1842.

Dear, and Beloved, Brother and Sister, Whitney, and &c. –
I take this opportunity to communi[c]ate, some of my feelings, privately at this time, which I want you three Eternaly to keep in your own bosams; for my feelings are so strong for you since what has passed lately between us, that the time of my absence from you seem so long, and dreary, that it seems as if I could not live long in this way: and if you three would come and see me in this my lonely retreat, it would afford me great relief, of mind[.] if those with who I am alied, do love me, now is the time to afford me succour, in the days of exile, for you know I foretold you of these things. I am now at Carlos Graingers, Just back of Brother Hyrams farm[.] it is only one mile from town, the nights are very pleasant, indeed, [and] all three of you can come and See me in the fore part of the night[.] let Brother Whitney come a little a head, and nock at the south East corner of the house at the window; it is next to the cornfield; I have a room intirely by myself, the whole matter can be attended to with most perfect saf[e]ty[.] I know it is the will of God that you should comfort me now in this time of affliction, or not at [a]ll[.] now is the time or never, but I hav[e] no kneed of saying any such thing, to you, for I know the goodness of your hearts, and that you will do the will of the Lord, when it is made know to you; the only thing to be careful of; is to find out when Emma comes [because] then you cannot be safe, but when she is not here, there is the most perfect saf[e[ty: only be careful to escape observation, as much as possible[.] I know it is a heroick undertakeing; but so much the greater frendship, and the more Joy[.] when I see you I will tell you all my plans[.] I cannot write them on paper, burn this letter as soon as you read it; keep all locked up in your breasts, my life depends upon it. one thing I want to see you for is to git the fullness of my blessings sealed upon our heads, &c. You will pardon me for my earnestness on this subject[.] when you consider how lonesome I must be, your good feelings know how to make every allowance for me[.] I close my letter[.] I think Emma wont come to night[.] if she don’t[,] don’t fail to come to night. I subscribe myself your most obedient, and affectionate, companion, and friend.
Joseph Smith” _Personal Writings of Joseph Smith_ edited by Dean C. Jessee. pp 566-7

It’s been years since I heard “gag me with a spoon.” That was one of my favorite 80′s phrases and I’m glad to see you are trying to bring it back!

Jill – thanks for your note. That gives me a little more confidence going into this one. I agree that focusing on the here and now is the only way to go.

John – I suppose you could add an “if you know what I mean” or “that’s what she said” to the conjugal visit quote. But you might not be invited back.

I hope all the other lessons are easier than this one!

Jill

It was with no little degree of satisfaction that I read your post of the 9th inst., just received. I would inform you that I am well at present, and feel to express my joy, not only in your long-awaited news, but also in those thoughts which you set forth relative to the difficulties in the lessons taught during divine service – in which the various communications of General Smith to Mrs. Smith were entertained and considered. Were we to press the furthest bounds of propriety in such matters, I think that we might still wonder at such proceedings, not knowing all the particulars from which said communications of Gen. Smith arose. Indeed, as one who has been obliged to read so many letters of this sort on a regular and continuous plan for many years, I congratulate you on your observations – adding that among the many blogs which I have perused in recent times, your post and comments have perhaps excelled all others. I cannot therefore but agree in nearly all which you have said, and beg you to believe me to be

Your most humble & affect. servt.,

RG

Apparently this lesson will be taught in our ward next week. I know this because today a new member of our ward asked me to portray Joseph in Relief Society by reading most of these excerpts. I was too shocked at being asked to play Joseph that I numbly said yes. They’ll have me go sans tie and all the rest with one of those white sashy tie things he supposedly wore.

So what’s your oratorical advice? Which words should I accent? When should I cast the elderly sisters a knowing glance? Should I research the dialect of New England in Joseph’s day to get his twang just right?

Do I bring in a teen girl from Young Women to illustrate the Joseph/Emma dilemma?

(Ok, that was bad, I shouldn’t have typed that, bad John!)

There is a lot that can be found in the lesson, though it is some work. It was an interesting choice of quotes and an interesting lesson, but I think more people would benefit from the underlying issues of how they need to express themselves, how it helps to write letters, and how friendship, equality, trust (rather than second guessing) and support are important in nurturing a relationship, as is the sharing of spiritual strength and belief.

But the church is very good in leaving out any problems they had, which they obviously did have and a lot of them.

Your humble servant,

E

I did almost bring up Josephs polygamy during our discussion, but I didn’t.