Comments on: Five Funniest Reasons to be Mormon http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/ A weekly podcast exploring Mormon culture and current events. Thu, 24 May 2012 04:10:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Terry http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89619 Terry Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:16:30 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89619 Worrying that you'll STILL be bumming rides from people when you're 30 because you never received your Eagle (or YW medallion). Worrying that you’ll STILL be bumming rides from people when you’re 30 because you never received your Eagle (or YW medallion).

]]> By: Valoel http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89329 Valoel Thu, 09 Jul 2009 00:52:13 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89329 This phase is ended. I'll post the poll on Friday to determine the #1 out of five. Feel free to post more though if you want to share something funny. This phase is ended. I’ll post the poll on Friday to determine the #1 out of five.

Feel free to post more though if you want to share something funny.

]]> By: Hawkgrrrl http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89275 Hawkgrrrl Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:39:06 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-89275 Andrew A. - I'm going to tell your wife! Andrew A. – I’m going to tell your wife!

]]> By: Ray http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88991 Ray Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:51:41 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88991 AA, FTW!! AA, FTW!!

]]> By: Andrew Ainsworth http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88979 Andrew Ainsworth Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:29:08 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88979 It's the only religion on Earth that promises men the opportunity to have sex with multiple women in the afterlife without having to blow yourself up to get it. It’s the only religion on Earth that promises men the opportunity to have sex with multiple women in the afterlife without having to blow yourself up to get it.

]]> By: KG McB http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88964 KG McB Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:12:21 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88964 Ok, maybe this sneaks in before you close this totally funny thread... More prayers for dessert food to "nourish and strengthen our bodies" than all other religions combined. Ok, maybe this sneaks in before you close this totally funny thread…

More prayers for dessert food to “nourish and strengthen our bodies” than all other religions combined.

]]> By: Valoel http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88960 Valoel Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:42:24 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88960 I'll officially end this tonight at some random time, whenever I manage to get back home from work, and fight one of the kids for some CPU time. Feel free to post more as the Spirit (of humor) dictates even after tonight. That deadline will give me time to prepare the post for the poll Friday. I’ll officially end this tonight at some random time, whenever I manage to get back home from work, and fight one of the kids for some CPU time.

Feel free to post more as the Spirit (of humor) dictates even after tonight. That deadline will give me time to prepare the post for the poll Friday.

]]> By: Miggy http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88935 Miggy Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:04:34 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88935 Knowing people named Teancum, Heleman and Moroni. Guaranteed friends, whether you want them or not (visiting teaching). Free therapist {the Bishop}. Knowing people named Teancum, Heleman and Moroni.

Guaranteed friends, whether you want them or not (visiting teaching).

Free therapist {the Bishop}.

]]> By: Shawn Larsen http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88933 Shawn Larsen Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:55:58 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88933 I spent my formative years manning a spotlight at my dad's community theater, which explains my picks: Saturday's Warrior, and its even worse sequel, Starchild. Let the Catholics have their fancy-pants Vatican museums! Their treaures all pale in comparison to a rousing rendition of "Zero Population." Now THAT's art. I spent my formative years manning a spotlight at my dad’s community theater, which explains my picks: Saturday’s Warrior, and its even worse sequel, Starchild. Let the Catholics have their fancy-pants Vatican museums! Their treaures all pale in comparison to a rousing rendition of “Zero Population.” Now THAT’s art.

]]> By: Rigel Hawthorne http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88758 Rigel Hawthorne Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:45:16 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88758 "Going to the temple for the first time, and wondering why they have such a large staff of chefs." Ha, while in the lockerroom of the temple preparing to receive my endowment, I saw a man come in after completing a session. I knew there was a cafeteria in the temple so I made a mental note to myself that he must work there. Here's one: If you are LDS and your name is Rick, you MUST aspire to be a bishop. “Going to the temple for the first time, and wondering why they have such a large staff of chefs.”

Ha, while in the lockerroom of the temple preparing to receive my endowment, I saw a man come in after completing a session. I knew there was a cafeteria in the temple so I made a mental note to myself that he must work there.

Here’s one: If you are LDS and your name is Rick, you MUST aspire to be a bishop.

]]> By: Ray http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88602 Ray Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:56:54 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88602 #30 - Great idea, Jeff. I didn't think of that. :) #30 – Great idea, Jeff. I didn’t think of that. :)

]]> By: SteveP http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88550 SteveP Sun, 05 Jul 2009 19:34:16 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88550 Anything you want to believe you can find a Brigham Young Quote to support it. Anything you want to believe you can find a Brigham Young Quote to support it.

]]> By: Jeff Spector http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88542 Jeff Spector Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:04:23 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88542 "I generally share stuff I read here with my wife and children, but my kids’ senses of humor are such that I’m not sure I want this one going around the ward and have people realize it started with me." In a new ward, that would definitely kill your chances at higher office...... “I generally share stuff I read here with my wife and children, but my kids’ senses of humor are such that I’m not sure I want this one going around the ward and have people realize it started with me.”

In a new ward, that would definitely kill your chances at higher office……

]]> By: Kristine http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88537 Kristine Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:31:47 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88537 Forget Niblets--I nominate Ziff for King! Forget Niblets–I nominate Ziff for King!

]]> By: James http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88511 James Sun, 05 Jul 2009 08:07:18 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88511 Sunday School Mormon Bank Commercial(fanaticism) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYOBff2Q8jU&NR=1 Sunday School Mormon Bank Commercial(fanaticism)

]]> By: The Right Trousers http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88509 The Right Trousers Sun, 05 Jul 2009 06:40:34 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88509 #23: I assume he thought Moroni's robe was like a Celestial hospital gown. FWIW, that's uproarious and I wish I had remembered that passage when I knew him. #23: I assume he thought Moroni’s robe was like a Celestial hospital gown.

FWIW, that’s uproarious and I wish I had remembered that passage when I knew him.

]]> By: Ray http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88432 Ray Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:21:20 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88432 #23 - That HAS to be recorded somewhere for a future Niblet! I generally share stuff I read here with my wife and children, but my kids' senses of humor are such that I'm not sure I want this one going around the ward and have people realize it started with me. :) #23 – That HAS to be recorded somewhere for a future Niblet!

I generally share stuff I read here with my wife and children, but my kids’ senses of humor are such that I’m not sure I want this one going around the ward and have people realize it started with me. :)

]]> By: Don http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88392 Don Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:07:11 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88392 Going to the temple for the first time, and wondering why they have such a large staff of chefs. (For the men) Being able to baptize someone the same day you get your driver's license and go on your first date. Going to the temple for the first time, and wondering why they have such a large staff of chefs.

(For the men) Being able to baptize someone the same day you get your driver’s license and go on your first date.

]]> By: Don http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88391 Don Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:49:04 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88391 Being able to judge how good of a missionary someone was by how good looking their spouse is. Being able to judge how good of a missionary someone was by how good looking their spouse is.

]]> By: Ziff http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88383 Ziff Sat, 04 Jul 2009 05:20:11 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88383 <i>(Funny story: I knew a guy who thought “bosom” meant “butt” until he was 17. He had developed a very strange idea of testimony…)</i> I have to wonder what he thought of Joseph Smith's description of the Angel Moroni: "His hands were naked, and his arms also, a little above the wrist; so, also, were his feet naked, as were his legs, a little above the ankles. His head and neck were also bare. I could discover that he had no other clothing on but this robe, as it was open, so that I could see into his bosom." (JSH 1:31) He could see into his <i>what</i>? :) (Funny story: I knew a guy who thought “bosom” meant “butt” until he was 17. He had developed a very strange idea of testimony…)

I have to wonder what he thought of Joseph Smith’s description of the Angel Moroni:

“His hands were naked, and his arms also, a little above the wrist; so, also, were his feet naked, as were his legs, a little above the ankles. His head and neck were also bare. I could discover that he had no other clothing on but this robe, as it was open, so that I could see into his bosom.” (JSH 1:31)

He could see into his what? :)

]]> By: Arthur http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88349 Arthur Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:56:23 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88349 #18. The Art Bell fan testimony!!! hahahaha #18. The Art Bell fan testimony!!! hahahaha

]]> By: Jeff Spector http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88348 Jeff Spector Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:55:46 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88348 I guess we'll find that out in the next life! I guess we’ll find that out in the next life!

]]> By: Jeff Spector http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88347 Jeff Spector Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:54:41 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88347 "You have 18 names you like for future children and want to use them all." And, you DO use them all! Grateful, grateful, grateful. The only people grateful for tragedy and adversity. “You have 18 names you like for future children and want to use them all.”

And, you DO use them all!

Grateful, grateful, grateful. The only people grateful for tragedy and adversity.

]]> By: Andrew S http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88346 Andrew S Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:32:26 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88346 <i>White shirts on black men look awesome (and I’m not kidding, I’m jealous)</i> ?! but how? White shirts on black men look awesome (and I’m not kidding, I’m jealous)

?! but how?

]]> By: The Right Trousers http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88345 The Right Trousers Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:17:27 +0000 http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/03/five-funniest-reasons-to-be-mormon/#comment-88345 - Greasing social wheels with Jell-o - White shirts on black men look awesome (and I'm not kidding, I'm jealous) - No juvenile piercing/tattoo pressure - Spontaneous discussions on the soteriological status of beloved pets - "Sweet spirit" - Enjoying the testimony of the ardent Art Bell fan on open mike Sunday - Patrol meeting doily fights in the Relief Society room - Get a testimony of folk doctrines like Celestial "This Is Your Life" Movies, Cain-is-Bigfoot and the TK-smoothie - Learn hundreds of acronyms to deal with names that were obviously invented in a more efficient (possibly perfect) tongue - Boys' divisions given latin names; girls' divisions named with insects, acronyms and shrubs - Greasing social wheels with Jell-o

- White shirts on black men look awesome (and I’m not kidding, I’m jealous)

- No juvenile piercing/tattoo pressure

- Spontaneous discussions on the soteriological status of beloved pets

- “Sweet spirit”

- Enjoying the testimony of the ardent Art Bell fan on open mike Sunday

- Patrol meeting doily fights in the Relief Society room

- Get a testimony of folk doctrines like Celestial “This Is Your Life” Movies, Cain-is-Bigfoot and the TK-smoothie

- Learn hundreds of acronyms to deal with names that were obviously invented in a more efficient (possibly perfect) tongue

- Boys’ divisions given latin names; girls’ divisions named with insects, acronyms and shrubs

]]>