Vote for #1 Funniest Reason to be Mormon

Trying to choose among those is like trying to eat warm Jello with chopsticks. I was able to do both, but only through great concentration – and by ignoring the fact that only non-Japanese missionaries are stupid enough to try eating Jello with chopsticks.

I voted for Andrew’s, but SteveP’s is also an instant classic. I love it!

Valoel-

I am just curious. Did you consult any women for their opinions when you chose which quotes you thought were the funniest?

Come on Jen, he did include the token woman right?

I’m just fuming over the fact that the final nominations were closed off to the public. What gives? Are these fake awards or something?

#4 “I’m just fuming over the fact that the final nominations were closed off to the public. What gives? Are these fake awards or something?”

Of course this is a real fake contest! I registered it with the National Association of Real Fakes; therefore, it is completely legitimate and official. N.A.R.F. doesn’t allow false fake awards under their licensing contract.

#3 “Did you consult any women for their opinions when you chose which quotes you thought were the funniest?”

I asked my wife if she thought I was funny. She said “sure … whatever dear …” So see? I must have picked the right 5 choices. It isn’t like I am not sensitive and all that stuff.

Ha ha ha. “Sure…whatever dear….” was classic.

I think the funniest reason to be mormon, and I’ve heard it many times, is this:

Because it makes so much sense.

That is a good one Dex. Right up there with “If I wasn’t Mormon I’d be Catholic, because those are the only logical choices.”

#5
“I asked my wife if she thought I was funny. She said “sure … whatever dear …” So see? I must have picked the right 5 choices. It isn’t like I am not sensitive and all that stuff”

*puts on her fake smile*

I feel so much better…..thanks!

*walks away cursing him under her breath*

Jen, is there an echo in here?

And mormons shouldn’t curse. Please work on that.

Dex-

“And mormons shouldn’t curse. Please work on that”

You’re assuming that means swearing. There are other types of cursings you know….WHAA HA HA…..

I hadn’t read these before and I thought they were all pretty funny, but I found myself laughing out loud at Andrew’s, so it drew my vote.

These were all funny. Thanks for the laugh!

So you were setting a curse on him with your black magic and/or voodoo skills? I think that is worse than swearing so I guess I one upped you again!

Dex-

You’re thinking the worst of me and I am so hurt. Remember God placed curses on people, so don’t assume it only comes from the dark side.

Anyways,I save all my voodoo skills for my Dex doll. hehehehehe

You two should be a good match then, because the Dex doll has an equivalent skill set as you do.

OH SNAP!!!!!

NO I DIDN’T!!!!

Seriously though, you only have one Dex doll? I was offering a 2 for 1 sale bc sales have been slumping in this economy. I guess you have been a fan for a while.

Re Craig: You are too restrictive. What about all the Diet Pepsi faithful, and those who eschew all artifical sweeteners, yet worship at the altar of caffeinated optimism. In the era of openess in our faith, let us be more inclusive: “You can tell a good Mormon by the temperature of his caffeine.”

Jeff-
I wished I had thought of that…

The pantyline reason was my favorite.
Here is a cute story about that:
I took my 16 year old son out to a site in Idaho, where there was a “Mormon Cricket” invasion. As we were looking out our car window at the deep layer of crawling crickets, he asked,
“How can you tell that they’re Mormon crickets?
I answered, “Well, you pick them up, turn them over and look for the funny little markings on their undergarments.”