just please. look into it and question it.. if its true, you will be happy that you have strengthened your relgion, if you realise difference, it will be as if your eyes have finally be opened,.. i wish there was a god, how great would it be, but instead of me studying mormon as i was raised, i challenged everything, and came up with an un bias conclusion to what I beleive, not what had been told to me, 

without sounding disrespectful. kids do beleive in santa untill they are told different, your parents seem sincire and have no reason to lie, but when you explained why its wrong, you begin to realise how silly it seems whether its straight away or in the future, 

my parents, are full mormons, my step dad is bishop and my mum is happy with the religion.. so i do not cause to offend as i love them very much. 

just think.. HOW? in a logical sense, forget the world of God and base these things on fact we know about real life, do some research, and watch the episode of derren brown on COLD READING, this can be put on paper. 

he writes about 5 people individually and passes them there papers, they claim its 90% accurate or 100% to them and are amazed at how close it is to there personallity and past.. they all show eachother the papers.. THEY ARE IDENTICAL, yes, now the girl crying at how emotional she got, is now rather embarressed, this was NOT a magic trick. it was to prove how supseptible we are to these things and how easy we beleive it.. the things were worded in a cleverly way, and seemed to suit people as if they were totally different and as if derren had known them for YEARS.. which he did not.. how it works?he writes these things in such a way that the reader MAKES them about him without realising..

what if i said.. you have seemed to have had trouble in your life you thought it wouldnt get better, but something happend like youmet someone or saw something and it changed the way you looked at the situation..

the reader would fill in the blanks and think it meant (for example)

you have been through medical problems you thought would not heal, but a new medicine was tried and it worked and you looked at the situation with releif…

so as you sit there, as you read this staring blankly at the screen remembering that believing in this was not as easy as it was sooner or later you will feel this as it becomes stronger to disregarded as nonsense..

I received my Patriarchal Blessing when I was 18. It promised a successful mission where I would “bring many souls to a knowledge of the … restored gospel …”. When I would return from my mission, I would “concentrate on preparing for a vocation of my choice” that would “provide for (myself) and (my) loved ones.” When I “advanced in (that vocation)” I would be “directed to one of a like mind and spirit who will be (my) eternal companion …” This union would bring “beautiful spirits to this earth” where my wife and I would provide well for them. I was also blessed that “all of my righteous goals and desires … would be achieved … with joy and satisfaction.”

The part about the mission came true. I went to South America and brought “many souls to a knowledge of the … restored gospel.” That’s where the fulfillment of the Blessing ends.

I had a girlfriend at BYU and we were waiting for me to “advance in my vocation” to get married in accordance with my PB. But then, Church President Spencer W. Kimball told young LDS adults not to postpone marriage for either education or vocation. I was confused because that contradicted my PB. I wrote to my Patriarch — the most spiritual man I’ve ever known — explaining the contradiction and asked his advice whether to get married now or wait like my PB said. He wrote back saying that only I could make that decision, but that I couldn’t go wrong by following the prophet. I prayed fervently about what to do. The answer was clear and unmistakable: go to the Temple and marry my girlfriend soon!

I proposed to my girlfriend who enthusiastically accepted. We were sealed in the Los Angeles Temple a few months later in a ceremony that President Rose called “one of the most spiritual sealings (he’d) ever performed.” I was 23, she was 20.

I’m 51 years old now. My temple wedding 28 years ago was the last happy day that I’ve spent on Earth. My honeymoon was a disaster and the words of my non-LDS father regarding us getting married as virgins rang in my ears: “Son, you don’t buy the pants before you try them on.” Unfortunately, unlike pants, you can’t just take a temple marriage back to the Church and exchange it for a better fit. I was stuck in a loveless marriage that she ended less than 7 years later when she took our 4-year-old son — the only source of anything good in my life — and moved out of state to live with her parents.

That was 21 years ago. Nothing in my PB has come to pass since I was directed to follow the prophet instead of adhere to my Blessing. I was never able to finish college and I’ve scrapped by at odd jobs and depended on family members for assistance, never “advancing in the vocation of my choice” as I was promised though I’ve tried to develop dozens and dozens of businesses. And I’ve certainly never come close to getting married again and having a big family, which was my biggest “righteous goal and desire” that I was promised “would be achieved … with joy and satisfaction”.

I found a missionary companion recently on Facebook. We communicated for the first time since our mission. He said life for him was wonderful with a successful career, a loving wife and wonderful, healthy children. He asked me how my life as been since my return from South America. I told him “Life as been absolutely horrible”. After reading a synopsis of my horrible life he replied, “Wow. You weren’t kidding!” And it all started going horribly when I obeyed the living prophet.

I’m still loyal to the Church having never denied the restoration through Joseph Smith, though it is too difficult for me to attend any meetings. I can’t sit there and hear about how everyone has been so blessed by a loving Heavenly Father for keeping the commandments and serving in the Church. I’ve kept the commandments and served very well in the Church, yet all I have to show for it is a tiny apartment and a cat. It’s been several years since I’ve attended Church and no one misses me. I’ve had more Jehovah’s Witnesses visit me during my inactivity than members of my Ward.

I don’t know why my PB is a hoax. I’ve always been a good Mormon and a good person. Drug dealers, prostitutes and downright horrible people have nice homes, nice cars and big families. Maybe they paid more tithing than I did. I don’t buy that excuse that my PB will be fulfilled during the Millenium. It is very specific that the promised blessings would be fulfilled in the current mortality. There’s only one explanation: God lied to me.

At least I know I can depend on my cat to do what she says. I can’t say that for anyone else on either side of the veil.

someone was told he could raise the dead . obviously, didnt come to pass .

I just feel that it’s helpful to know the history a little bit to understand why we’re even having this discussion right now. The fact is, the giving of PB’s was, to a large degree, a commercial enterprise for over a hundred years. It would seem that the church back then did not see PBs as a critical stepping stone toward the more important saving ordinances. Today, there’s an entire culture around it, as evidenced by 50 plus responses to your most interesting post, Rico.

Perhaps we should keep all this in mind when we start to struggle to understand our PB’s or lean to heavily on them. If you believe in the restored gospel and the scriptures, there’s really nothing extra you need to know about why you’re here, where you’re headed, and why you’re special.

This is really interesting.

#46 Rico –
Charging for Patriarchal Blessings….

D Michael Quinn wrote about it in The Mormon Hierarchy: Extensions of Power. As you may or may not know, he spent years in the LDS archives wading through endless amounts of source material. Here is a link to Signature Books’ website where you can find the excerpt below along with the all important references:

http://signaturebooks.com/excerpts/hier2.htm

Excerpt:
In 1835 the Presiding Patriarch was authorized a salary of $10 a week, plus expenses.42 Both the Presiding Patriarch and local stake patriarchs charged a fee. In the 1840s the fee was $1 per patriarchal blessing at Nauvoo; by the end of the nineteenth century it had increased to $2 per blessing.43 Joseph Smith, Sr., gave patriarchal blessings without payment of a fee, but would not record them.44 “Uncle” John Smith commented that he “lived very Poor ever Since we Left Kirtland Ohio” in January 1838 until January 1844. Then his nephew Joseph Smith ordained him a patriarch “through which office I Obtained a Comfortable Living.”45

Financial incentive is another explanation for the fact that individual Mormons received more than one patriarchal blessing in the nineteenth century, often at the invitation of the patriarch. In October 1877 John Taylor criticized the monetary motivation of some stake patriarchs. He said they were using their patriarchal office as “a mere means of obtaining a livelihood, and to obtain more business they had been traveling from door to door and underbidding each other in the price of blessings.”46

Patriarchal blessing fees ended in 1902, although patriarchs were allowed to accept unsolicited donations.48 Not until 1943 did church authorities prohibit patriarchs from accepting gratuities for giving blessings.49

True but the problem are all those blessing from the 1800′s saying that they will live to see the savior and so on. Also father Smiths blessings are still a problem.

EXACTLY!!!! For many, it’s primarily about feeling special, set apart and above, and being “chosen.” In fact, it has ALWAYS been about this from the beginning of the church. I know that many members receive PB’s in all sincerity and with humility, but all things considered, I ask: What does a PB provide that prayer and scripture study don’t? Are we not, according to Mormon doctrine, all entitled to and destined for the same blessings in the end?

Look, the subject of patriarchal blessings has always been an enigma! I don’t know if someone mentioned this already, but a PB is NOT a required ordinance. Receiving one is ABSOLUTELY OPTIONAL. It is completely unnecessary for eternal progression. Why, then, is there such a cultural emphasis on receiving one? I heard one church leader down play them, while I heard a sealer in the temple urge a sister to go back and get another one because her “uninspired” Patriarch had accounced her Israelite lineage as “Joseph,” instead of one of his children, Ephraim or Manasseh. The sealer told her that “Joseph” was insufficient, and that it was VERY important that she know which tribe she belongs to. Needless to say, I found the whole discussion quite confusing.

#2 James – I loved your post, and I want to elborate.

I think it is so helpful to go back to Father Smith and the beginnings of PB’s to understand how we’ve come to this place. As anyone who has read the D&C knows, there were many people singled out in revelations and given tremondous promises. The prophet was quick to prophecy and bless those around him, and it’s not hard to guess that the atmosphere around him must have been electric, even intoxicating! Think about it – everyday convert farmers and merchants being called out by name, by Jehovah, himself, through the prophet Joseph Smith. Well, as could be imagined, people lined up so that they, too, could secure some special message and promise from God.

The fact of the matter is (my opinion only), Joseph was weary from the demand and delegated the task to his father, who kept records of all the blessings. The historical record shows that Joseph Sr charged a dollar a piece for each blessing, and many of the saints went back for additional blessings. I know that this is probably not welcomed news for those of you that didn’t know this already, but check it out yourself. It seems to me that the Patriarch’s office in the early church in Kirtland was a bit like Deseret Bookstores are today – a place where you can purchase some uplifting and inspiring content at your own discretion, but no one will tell you that you have to go there.

It’s true! As has been stated above, the farther back you go, the more sensational and detailed the PB promises are. PB’s were colorful, daring, even reckless… and they came with a price, literally. The bestowal of PB’s today, on the other hand, has become a completely institutionalized affair, with the Patriarchs using bland colors and broad strokes to paint pictures that can never be interpreted in any one specific way (see #34).

I fully understand that PB’s are a source of great strength and assurance to those who put great energy and faith into interpreting them. But as I see it (and I fully admit that I am a skeptic), the bestowal of PB’s has historically been the equivalent of priesthood-sanctioned escatalogical fortune telling.

1st I think Patriarchs can make mistakes, some are obvious and the blessing can be preformed again, for those blessings that are incorrect but are too subtle to be noticed, I believe either God will fulfil the promise despite the error, or would show greater comfort and guidance to those who seek his help.

example
#41 whilst your friend did not bear children, the feelings of fulfilment due to adoption or fostering would be amplified by God.

IMO: most failed patriarchal blessings are due to weakness of the Patriarch, however I hold no ill feelings, they are mortal.

#42 – Although I agre in principle, when promises are made specifically pertaining to this life, i think it is only fair that people wonder why certain things have not happened. But thanks for your comment.

The Stake Patriarch; Elder Boyd K Packer; Ensign Nov 2002

“Sometimes someone will worry because a promise made in a patriarchal blessing is not yet fulfilled. For instance, a blessing may indicate that a member will be married, and they do not find a companion. That does not mean that the blessing will go unfulfilled. It is well to know that things happen in the Lord’s due time, not always in ours.Things of an eternal nature have no boundaries. From the premortal existence to our existence beyond the veils of death, our life is an eternal life.”

#34 – Thank you for your insight. I wonder what Richard Bushman’s thoughts on this are.

#36-7 – Although I agree. I wonder whether the GA discourse that surrounds these blessings slightly exaggerated therefore.

#39 – i will ask around. Thanks.

It also seems to be that a person must be very careful in declaring a patriarchal blessing “failed”. Because God’s ways are not our ways, because we do not have his perspective nor know exactly what may be referred to with each passage, we simply don’t have the ability to authoritatively declared a blessing failed (unless we know we haven’t been living the law upon which that blessing was predicated, in which case its failure is a direct result of our behavior).

I can’t explain apparent inconsistencies that exist. But I do know that as I get older the meaning of my blessing changes. Even things I felt certain I understood have taken on new forms and been fulfilled in unexpected ways.

Our job is to have faith and live worthy of the blessings. Let God worry about keeping his promises– He always does.

To “bless” carries connotations of “asking”, “bestowing” or “endowing” with power, “protecting”, “praising”, “sanctioning”, “approving”, “benefiting” and “thanking”.

To “bless” does not mean to foretell, to predict, to command or control.

I think this is an enlightening concept to grasp.

Rico, I think you’ve done a great job in coming up with the various explanations why PBs fail. I think another one is that some members who get them think of them as a star chart or Nostradamus-like prediction, trying to prove their own personal specialness through them, or trying to use it to prove or disprove the church at various points of personal experience. They are a “blessing” primarily. As many commenters have said, patriarchs need to be cautious about their own temptations in the process, and so do the recipients.