Mormons and Dr. Laura

I deleted my first attempt. My enormous concern about her is the fact that she gives advice she’s, clearly, not qualified as a Physiologist, to give and that her own personal life in a train wreck. Nevertheless, she goes on counseling people to create family friction and rigidly discard relationships. =o

I also was witness to her very early career and have no doubt that the views she expresses, having risen through the ranks with Rush Limbaugh and Dennis Praeger, reflect where she sees her bread being buttered because her own rise reflects very different values indeed!

There! That’s the sanitized version.

It’s been several years since I’ve listened to Dr. Laura, but my impression was that her advice was sometimes valuable in that she was one of few people in our self-indulgent culture who preached the virtues of self-sacrifice. OTOH, I thought that she could be very unkind to callers and that she showed shockingly little compassion for people who were struggling with (largely self-inflicted) problems quite similar to some she had faced in her own life. On the whole, I didn’t like her or her show very much, and I stopped listening.

I don’t hold the nekkid pictures against her (seems a forgivable sin for the penitent), but I didn’t like her show.

I haven’t heard it very much, but the two times the callers were clearly Mormon she gave very condescending advice (I realize that’s her schtick) and once even ridiculed the person’s religious perspective because they felt it contradicted her advice. I realize she quickly dumps people who say “but” (again, part of the schtick), but the ridicule seemed a bit gratuitous. Unfortunately, this was from several years ago and I can’t remember the particulars, so I’d always just assumed she disparaged Mormons. If she’s come around, maybe it’s because she’s determined Mormons are part of her market demographic.

Also, I consider her advice that if you get divorced and have kids, you shouldn’t even consider dating again until the kids are grown to be unreasonable and possibly even damaging (and I’m a happily married never-divorced).

I just read the wikipedia article. I thought the nekkid pictures was the scandal. Wow.

It’s absolutely unbelievable she’s gotten where she is, doing what she’s doing. That woman’s got gumption.

Wow.

She may not be perfect, but overall her conservative, traditional, common sense messages are far better than most others on the airwaves. Although she is admittedly short with some people, it is an entertainment program after all, and she can’t spend 30 minutes of free counseling with everyone. If she has to cut them off after 60 seconds, that’s the nature of the medium, and obviously some people suffer from diarrhea of the mouth – you’d cut them off, too, in a real-life conversation. Let’s face it, not everyone that calls in is a genius… For the most part, however, she is respectful and helpful to most callers.

I also like that she doesn’t take crap from people. That’s refreshing in an era of politically-correctness. Overall, I give her 2 thumbs up. Rock on, Dr. Laura!

“Also, I consider her advice that if you get divorced and have kids, you shouldn’t even consider dating again until the kids are grown to be unreasonable and possibly even damaging (and I’m a happily married never-divorced).”

I’m also a never divorced individual, happily married with kids. I’m glad to see that others were equally turned off by this rather common position of the good Doctor. I think a great deal of what she say’s is useful, but for me this extreme position is the deal breaker for me. While I would agree that divorced parents have an obligation to be sensitive to the complexities of their childrens emotions, I’m not sure having them raised by an unecessarily depressed and overworked parent is any more ideal.

One of my sisters gave us a copy of “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” after I got married, because she said that it had helped her. My wife and I read one chapter and skimmed a few other pages before deciding it was definitely not worth our time. If I were just the stereotypical “man’s man”, sure, the advice may have helped my wife cope. But for someone with a more modern egalitarian relationship, her views were a.) completely inapplicable, and b.) somewhat demeaning.

We sold it online recently in an effort to clear off our shelves, and I sincerely hope it helps someone else in their marriage. But Dr. Laura’s idea of who men are and what marriage should be like is certainly different from my personal or gospel ideal.

Cliff,

Kuri, that’s the part I can’t stand about her. She’s so condescending and impatient; and yet, she’s made so many bad choices that you’d think she’d have a little compassion. It’s not like she ever says, “I’ve made the mistake before, and don’t be like me.” No, she comes off as the all wise and all knowing.

Exactly. I already thought thought she was condescending before I learned something about her history, but after I found out she’d made a lot of the same mistakes (and generally overcome them, good for her), I couldn’t believe the way she treated people who were making the same ones she had.

Unless someone is a real victim, e.g. abused child, etc, whom she can console and thereby look compassionate, she usually treats her callers like they are idiots. I can’t figure out why people call her.

I think narcissism is probably a big part of it. It seems to me that a lot of the people who go on shows like Dr. Laura, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy and so on fantasize that these “righteous authority figures” will be anxious to castigate the people around them. In their clueless self-centeredness, they’ve never realized that they’re a big — if not the biggest — part of the problem, and it comes as a complete shock when the doctor or the judge or whoever goes after them instead.

“condescending, impatient, often pompous approach” — Neil Diamond? I must have missed the connection.

I think probably 80 percent of her advice is good, and certainly there’s a need for some people to be told what they need to be told instead of what they want to be told. But she’s also the most arrogant, presumptuous, judgmental host on radio today — and that’s saying quite a bit, since right-wing talk radio is full of such hosts. While she preaches some good values, she fails to show respect toward those less fortunate than she is, and that’s a value in itself, one not worthy of emulation. Basically, her shtick isn’t my idea of praiseworthy entertainment.

- chastity before marriage and complete fidelity after
- having a common religion in the home
- family comes first even after divorce
- being honest with others
- etc

So that in itself is going to rub some folks, especially around here the wrong way.

Yep. Because so many of us around here believe in adultery, selfishness, and dishonesty.

Neil Diamond is a great songwriter, BTW. Just sayin’.

I used to listen to her almost daily. I picked up on the high volume of lds callers, too. She doles out some good advice, notably in her book “The proper care and feeding of husbands”. However, her black and white stances on many issues and her sarcastic tone eventually turned me off.

I’d wager a guess her harsh judgment of others stems from her internal criticism of her own choices in life. When I was at my most judgmental, there was a lot of self-loathing going on (though I’d sure I’d never have admitted it at the time). When we don’t like our own demons (past or present), we tend to redirect our vitriol towards others.

Taken solely as an entertainer in the mold of any other radio host, I don’t really have any problems with how (more problems with the actual content) she does her job. I’m sure occasionally she is really harsh AND it is needed, but sometimes it is over the top. I only listen to NPR now anyway, but in the past preferred her to the Beck/Hannity/Rush axis.

Interesting post. Thanks, Jeff.

What I like about Dr. Laura: You know where you stand. She seems to articulate a standard and then gives advice consistent with the articulated standard. As a result, there is a predictability there.

Like others, I’m not so happy about the way she does not always seem to listen; it seems if the question does not come in an appropriate sound-bite, she struggles to have any patience to ferret out the real issue.

I am regularly amazed (or was when I listened to the show; haven’t heard it for years now) that people call her with questions they do and are surprised by advice she gives. One only has to listen for a few days to predict how she will respond to most issues.

I am surprised when she does take a softer tone with some callers, as if there is something in that call that triggers a gentler approach, precisely because it is so rare.

As for the no-dating-if-you-have-younger-children — I’ve seen enough step families suffer terribly when her advice isn’t followed that it’s easy to see why she’d recommend it. Doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone, I suppose, but the cases I’ve seen have been disastrous.

As for the no-dating-if-you-have-younger-children — I’ve seen enough step families suffer terribly when her advice isn’t followed that it’s easy to see why she’d recommend it. Doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone, I suppose, but the cases I’ve seen have been disastrous.

I’d agree here. See this in my ward too. There are simply too many conflicting issues to make it a happy fulfilling relationship when young kids and especially teenagers are still around. Seems to be the case in the majority of step families although I suppose somewhere there may be some successful ones but I haven’t seen any.

The problem here, Alice, is that your argument depends on evidence that LS’s life is presently “challenged,” such as would call her competence to give advice, now — not when she was in her pre-Orthodox thirties, or whatever. Is there a statute of limitations on being an idiot? I sure hope so.

Frankly, I love hypocrisy — because the only people who can’t be called hypocrites, are people who don’t bother having any principles to betray. Hypocrisy is a good sign that someone at least recognizes the existence of principles, and hasn’t just slouched at full speed into nihilism.

And not infrequently, “hypocrisy” is the gleeful cry of people who desperately want to believe that living up to standards of decency is impossible (thus to excuse their failure to do so). They don’t just want to tear down the individual hypocrite; they want to tar everybody who defends moral principles with the hypocrite’s unattractiveness, as part of their urge to discredit those principles themselves. Thus Ted Haggard or Jimmy Swaggart are made to exemplify Christianity generally — as if that’s remotely logical.

Alice, you suspect wrong. I think DS’s style is more abrasive than is useful. But that’s not your argument. It was that even that if her advice and style were valid, she’s somehow estopped from giving that advice because she acted irresponsibly earlier in her life. The message is more important than the messenger.

I love Thomas’ explanation of hypocrites and suspect anything written in Wikipedia on any controversial public people. There are always stories that can be dredged up against them and then slanted to make them appear as bad as possible. Laura Bush for instance killed a boyfriend when she was 16, is a fact. But the facts were that she was in a car accident which killed the boy.

Also my opinion of Dr. Laura’s show is like learning how drive by watching car accidents. I think the calls are real because the kind of calls can’t be contrived. The reality of the hostility to her advice can’t be faked.

Or I could be wrong.

or, think like many people, what they are doing is OK. But, if they thought the latter, then why call up at all?????

A lot of people — in many settings — claim they want advice, but what they really want is validation. (And boy do they get mad when people actually give them advice instead of validation.)

Call heard on Dr. Laura yesterday while I was going to the gym. A pretty typical call.

Caller: Hello Dr. Laura thanks for taking my call. My husband and I have been attending the same Church since we were married 26 years ago. But, I have stopped going
for the last year. (Could it be?)

Dr. Laura: Why did you stop going to Church?

Caller: Well, I am not sure if it was because of hormones (exact quote!) or because I was afraid of being judged? ( hummmmmm…..)

Dr. Laura: Judged? Judged for what?

Caller: Well, my daughters, who are older and been out of the house for some time.
Dr. Laura: What about your daughters?

Caller: Well, in our church, we are taught to marry in the Temple (Bingo!) And my younger daughter was married civilly. And my older daughter doesn’t even go to church
anymore.

Dr. Laura: Everyone has their own faith journey and has to decide for themselves about religious practice and observance. So, what your daughters choose to do should
have no bearing on what you do with your faith and journey. Do you like the Church you go to?

Caller: Yes

Dr. Laura: Well then, go back to Church.

Caller: OK, Dr. Laura, I will. Thanks for your help.

Typical church call.

I thought it was funny only because if everyone over-worried about how their children’s conduct would reflect on them, the Church would basically be empty on Sunday. I’ve heard it used as a excuse that a family doesn’t attend Church because their kids aren’t well-behaved. Really? and whose are all the time.

Gees, my youngest son flipped the bird during the Primary Program while standing in front and singing. It was funny and many folks were laughing. My wife wanted to crawl under the pew.

Yeah, I was grabbed by another mother telling me to do something about my youngest son…apparently some kids were talking about marriage, and my son turned the discussion into talking about sex…after all, people have sex after they’re married. Then, of course, all the kids were saying sex (not understanding the topic but happy to use the words introduced by my son).

I can’t say he was wrong…but we did have a lesson from dad on appropriate times and places to talk about things.

I also chuckle that people LOVE to reference all the prophets in the scriptures that had problem kids…”Thank goodness Lehi had Laman and Lemuel…it makes me feel a little better about myself”

When my wife and I were team teaching Primary a few years ago, she was holding our oldest son on her lap (he was an infant). She reached over to pick something up and accidentally dropped him, and I accidentally dropped a swear word (S_it!) in front of all the little kids.

Fortunately no, just a few quick stares from the adult leaders.