Maybe it was an upcoming family wedding. Or maybe it came out some other way. Have you ever been in a situation when you became aware that someone who had been endowed no longer had a Temple Recommend?
Generally, in LDS culture, when you determine that someone doesn’t have a TR, it’s human nature to automatically assume you know why based on reasons you think are most common; it’s also a little awkward to ask, which is why most people skate by on assumptions. (Just because you assume a reason does not necessarily mean that you attach a judgment to that reason). Do you assume they are behind on paying their tithing or that they have committed some serious sin? Or do you assume they are being too self-critical in how they answer the questions? Do you consider some reasons more “acceptable” than others?
In your opinion, are some of these bigger issues than others (actually more important to temple admittance), in your opinion? Here’s my ranking (I put these into groups that denote their importance).
- Adultery or fornication. Kind of obvious. I can’t imagine too many people disagreeing with me on this one.
- Not paying a full tithe. If I quit paying my Lifetime Fitness membership, they won’t let me in either.
- Abusive family relationships. Of course, the trick is whether someone admits it. It assumes that an abusive person has the sociopathy to abuse people, but also is enough of a good guy to admit it.
- Polygamous affiliations. Unless you are a recurring character on Big Love.
- Embezzlement / fraud. Again, provided you are confessing such a thing. If you’re willing to commit fraud, what’s a little lying? But I suppose if you’re imprisoned for fraud, you’re not getting an R&R pass to go to the temple anyway.
- Recently resolved issues related to those on the definitely out list, once restitution is made
- Struggling with porn or masturbation
- Emotional affairs
- Struggling with WoW, but intending to follow
- Failure to pay child support, but intending to pay it
- Affiliations with groups whose ideologies conflict (other than polygamous sects)
- Doubting, struggling with belief
- Intermittent garment wearing
- Church activity intermittent but recently improved
Not a TR issue:
- sexual thoughts, no actions
- struggling with anger in family settings, no abuse
- disliking but obeying the standards
- things not on the list like drinking Coke, playing face cards, being a Democrat, gambling, or opposing Prop 8
- church activity intermittent due to work commitments or health reasons
My own lists indicate that I view it as subjective based on your intentions and how long your intentions have been temple-ready. So, how do your lists differ from mine? Do you somehow avoid making these types of assumptions? Discuss.