Have You Ever Wondered…..

I wonder…

Why we have so many callings and very few that impact outside the immediate community?
What happened to the Primary colours?
Why we can have firesides but not BBQ’s on sunday? (This might just be my ward).

That last one is dedicated to James.

Why did we reinserted a hymn into the hymnbook that has the German national anthem as its tune?

why do we refer to sacrament and general conference addresses as ‘talks’ rather than ‘sermons’?

if we ‘preach, expound, exhort’ etc, why is preaching generally used as a negative connotation? for example, if I gave a sacrament talk and said ‘in my sermon, I preached on topic x’, I think most people would view that as an arrogant statement. why is that?

Why do we call it a Rest Hyumn, it’s only been 40 minutes?
Why do some say during blessings ‘and all other blessing you are in need of’, that could be a boat of blessings?
Do we really need gyms in our buildings?
Why do we sing most hymns like we are at a funeral, where’s the joy?
Why can’t a Sister be SS President, if like RS, it’s an auxiliary?
Why can’t older single brethern serve missions like older single sisters?
How does an illegal alien answer the recommend question about being totally honest?
When are we going to be able to pay Tithing/FO with debt cards?
Does anyone remember PPIs?
Why do we thank the ‘Priesthood’ and not the brethren who hold/use the Priesthood?
Why do we bless cake/donuts/cookies to nurish and strenghten us?
Why can’t these blogs ahve spell check?

While we’re on the topic of prayers

Where did the phrase “no harm or accident fall upon us” come from?
Is “nourish and strengthen our bodies” better than the simple “make us healthy and strong”?
What ever happened to the Kimball-era phrase “soften the hearts of the kings and rulers to let the missionaries in”

And on sermons…
Why do so many speakers simply read their talks in a monotone voice, never lifing their eyes from the pulpit?
Why can’t high councilmen be required to join the Toastmaster’s Club and learn to give an engaging speech? (After all, they do it every month?

And on facial hair…
Why does BYU Testing Center have entrance standards more exacting than the temple itself?

#10 Rich: The German National Anthem has the same tune as #46 — Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken. It’s a Haydn tune.

#2 — On facial hair for male temple workers: I have a full beard today, but when I worked in the Taipei temple, I shaved it because they asked me to. It was a privilege to work in the temple, and I’d be happy to shave it again if asked. No one said I shouldn’t discuss the matter with anyone. I assume the reason for doing so is that temple patrons should focus on the temple when they’re there — not whether or not the officiator has a beard.

I’m with you on reverence in the chapel. I miss that a lot.

Justin, huh?

“OK. So if I’m a temple worker (which I’m not) I don’t talk about facial hair (I guess) but what I don’t get is what I say or don’t say about the ‘deny it’ thing. Somebody respond to this. I don’t understand what they mean. And when and where was this announced? You don’t even need to be exact. I would say I’m very active in Church but I totally missed this one.”

It was about 10 years ago and there was a little news piece in the SL Tribune about it with an interesting response by Armand Mauss. I realized after reading it that a ward member who was a temple worker had shaved his beard so I asked him about it the next Sunday. At first he said there wasn’t anything to it but then later in the day told me it was true and that they’d been told not to talk about it. The only reason I’ve ever heard given is that since none of the brethren have facial hair we need to look like them.

Always interesting when people ask why certain traditions and policies exist in the Church; even more interesting when we find out why! Many are rooted in Church history, while others are carry-overs from 19th century American history the early Saints brought with them and retained, mostly because of the isolation in the west, while the rest of the country moved on. So many are just traditions no one has bothered to question, others simply policies of a certain era (like the facial hair thing), while others still have actual doctrinal basis.

MIA maid comes from “Mutual Improvement Association”, the original names of the youth programs (Young Men’s MIA, Young Ladies MIA). Many in the church still refer to YM/YW collectively as “mutual” because of this. “Maid” is simply used a word for young girl, much like we use the term “maiden name” for someone’s pre-married name. “Maid” doesn’t have to mean a servant. I think all the YW class names were simply developed so that the girls had a similar structure to what the boys have in YM. As far as I know they are relatively recent developments.

I think we use “talks” instead of “sermons” because at least within the church (and probably outside the church as well) a sermon is generally associated with a full-time pastor or minister. It’s certainly not incorrect to use “sermon” though since talks are definitely sermons. A “talk” seems a little less formal than “sermon” too. In all honesty it’s simply a tradition; either way is correct.

“Moisture” is a term generally used out West to describe rain, at least in my experience. Here in the East, we do thank the Lord for rain or the weather, but rarely do I hear someone thank him for “the moisture that has fallen” unless they are from the west. And no, out East we don’t really have to worry about rain like those in the Western US do. Irrigation? Non-existent out here.

“Moisture” is a term generally used out West to describe rain, at least in my experience. Here in the East, we do thank the Lord for rain or the weather, but rarely do I hear someone thank him for “the moisture that has fallen” unless they are from the west.

We also say “moisture” instead of rain as a way of reminding ourselves that the foot of snow that fell in April when we are sick to death of winter really is good for our plants and soil.

We use the word “talk” because no one knows what a “homily” is.

Hawkgrrrl – 6

“I have often wondered what a MiaMaid is. I always pictured the girl on the SunMaid raisin box.”

Isn’t a MiaMaid a single girl (what is it? 14-15) who attends the Mutual Improvement Association?

Mex Davis -7

“Why can’t older single brethern serve missions like older single sisters?”

It is not good for man to be alone. And that’s all there is to it. Although my wife says they can’t take care of themselves.

“How does an illegal alien answer the recommend question about being totally honest?”

No.
Although to be fair, the phrase ‘totally honest’ is redundant and I don’t think the word ‘totally’ is in the recommend question. A lot of us may have problems with that question.

“Does anyone remember PPIs?”

A long time ago in a land far away.

“Why do we bless cake/donuts/cookies to nurish and strenghten us?”

I don’t discuss deep doctrines.

“Why can’t these blogs ahve spell check?”

Bravo!! Here, here. Three cheers for Mex! Hip, hip hurray!! Hip, hip hurray!! Hip, hip hurray!!

Clark – 9

““no harm or accident fall upon us””

I think the words ‘befall us’ would do better.

A set of random questions to aimlessly ponder on a Friday.

OK, I’m gonna be “that guy” and actually answer these. ::sigh:: I’m pathetic. Here we go:

Why the Church building is called a Meetinghouse and the Stake Center used to be called a Stake House?

Too much ambiguity previously. “Church building” to SLC residents means the big office building on Temple Square. “Stake House” sounds too much like “steakhouse.” Homophones and mixed up referents always find a workaround.

Why our weekly Church Service is called a Sacrament Meeting with a Sacrament Service within it?

One receives “service” of the Sacrament in a meeting that is for that purpose. The “Sacrament Service” is the blessing and passing within larger context of a meeting which includes sermons hymns and prayers additionally.

Why we need to take the Sacrament on a weekly basis except for Stake and General Conference weekends?

The commandment is “meet together oft[en].” 48 out of 52 weeks is apparently “often” enough for its purpose. Another reason is practical of course, since it would take an hour or more just to serve a stake’s worth of people the sacrament. On top of all that, *you* don’t need to take it weekly, but it is *offered* weekly to give people a chance to take it “oft.”

That we understand “Deacon, Teacher and Priest” pretty well, but what’s up with “Beehive, MIAmaid and Laurel?

Some of this one has been ably covered by others (MIAMaid in particular). Beehive is a standard Utah-centric symbol. Originally it was the “Beehive Girls” (location + membership) made parallel to “Boy Scouts of America” (roughly membership + location). I’ve read that in 1950 the program was split out to approximately the groups have today but called girls 16-18 “Gleaners.” The Gleaners changed its name to “Laurels” 10 years later. Laurels being a traditional symbol of honor, accomplishment, and a crown: more fitting for the end of a program than “person who subsists on the cast off harvest of others.”

Why we have Sunday School lessons that are 20 years old with very minor updates along the way?

The same reason we have General Authorities the same way. No one changes anything until the previous one is dead.

Why we always thank Heavenly Father for Moisture, not rain, snow or flooding?

Desert farmers and ranchers talk funny when they try to “class up” their language for church.

Why some people ask to “bless the hands” that prepared the food, but not the rest of the person?

Synecdoche – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synecdoche

If a non-white shirt and facial hair will keep men out of the Celestial Kingdom?

Unlikely, all our representations of God the Father and Resurrected Christ have beards. Most of the modern prophets also wore (and wear) them proudly. Not a hair will be lost, mind you.
The current obsession with these things is our barely-constrained Pharisaism. It’ll go away by the Millennium.

If “we believe the Bible to be the Word of God so far as it is translated correctly,” why there has been no work done by the Church on a “correct” translation?

They have one already, the “Inspired version.” And it’s strewn throughout the LDS printing of the KJV.

Why we call parties and receptions held on Sunday a “fireside”?

We only call them that when they are at the Stake House. If they are at the steakhouse, they’re still called a “party.”

I’m breaking with my self-imposed restriction to only comment on the post and not the accompanying comments. Again.
But I’m on a roll and feel like I know answers to these, and I’m enough of a smartalec to need to share them.

Why do some say during blessings ‘and all other blessing you are in need of’, that could be a boat of blessings?

We like a catch-all for things we haven’t thought of and have no way of knowing about.

Do we really need gyms in our buildings?

How else do we practice running and not being weary, walking and not fainting?

Why do we sing most hymns like we are at a funeral, where’s the joy?

The accompanist slows down to meet the congregation which doesn’t know the song very well, so the congregation slows down. Makes vicious slowing circle, ignoring the chorister (usually ignoring the chorister a good thing anyway).

When are we going to be able to pay Tithing/FO with debt cards?

You can already pay with BillPay/EFT. It’s great, but they shut down new account additions due to it being too burdensome on Church HQ.
https://tech.lds.org/wiki/index.php/Electronic_donations

Why do we thank the ‘Priesthood’ and not the brethren who hold/use the Priesthood?

Metonymy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metonymy

“Why do we sing most hymns like we are at a funeral, where’s the joy?”

My mother the chorister conducts all hymns prestissimo, including the Sacrament hymns. Lovely.

RE 13

Paul:
I shaved it because they asked me to. It was a privilege to work in the temple, and I’d be happy to shave it again if asked. No one said I shouldn’t discuss the matter with anyone. I assume the reason for doing so is that temple patrons should focus on the temple when they’re there — not whether or not the officiator has a beard.

I wonder about the logic that concludes that it is acceptable to ask Temple workers to shave on the basis that patrons might sit and wonder “whether or not the officiator has a beard.”

My examples were designed to raise other instances where a person might sit and wonder about the appearance of a Temple worker.

It’s good that you were honored to shave it off for the Lord, but should someone not be allowed to volunteer as a Temple worker because they consider it an important matter to keep that portion of the image of God in which men have been created with?

I think the beard in question is more to do with uniformity and “oneness” if you will, just like missionaries are supposed to shave and wear white shirts and dark suits. a baseball team that doesn’t have uniforms feel like a bunch of kids just playing around, but get then a uniform and suddenly they feel more legitimate, they will be better respected, and they will feel more a part of something; that’s the idea anyway.

Paul, does that mean we should ask those brothers and sisters that serve in the Temple to lose weight if they are dramatically overweight? I find that a large distraction as I try to concentrate on the ceremony. Why do we only highlight one item to the exclusion of other distracting attributes?

Jeff, I can’t answer your question. And Michael, yours makes no sense to me.

As I said before, those who determine what one must do to work in the temple can choose whatever they want, and then others will choose to act based on those requirements.

Jeff, I would say that it’s probably not true that you are not qualified to work in the temple given all else you described. If you were invited to work there, you would have to make a choice about keeping your beard or not. It’s true that it has not always been that facial hair was not allowed on temple workers.

#7 Why can’t a Sister be SS President, if like RS, it’s an auxiliary?

- The “doctrine” that I was taught was that women can not preside over men. I’m sure the backing was various misogynistic verses from the New Testament.

The fall back reason is always “the prophet said so” but I doubt the prophet had anything to do with it. I expect it was dreamed up as a good idea by someone and then ok’d without any real thought. It’s never been publicly discussed because there’s no logical or rational reason for it other than as a faith test. For the leadership to put forth their reasoning would mean that it wasn’t from God’s mouth to the prophet’s ear and was something open to discussion. It’s just easier to run a railroad when you can tell people what to do and leave the choice to them. I’ve never an issue with the obedience thing because I’ve always associated it with keeping the commandments but things like this are just obey because I said so. I expect at some future time it will just quietly be changed and fade away like some of the other policies that turned out to just be that.

#41

If women can’t preside over men, then how does a female primary president (or entire presidency, for that matter)preside over male teachers. Our ward has at least as many men helping out in primary as it does in SS.

Another thing which is cloaked in church history is the fact that women need to wear dresses in order to be considered respectable attire, I actually found a quote from President Mckay, stating emphatically,” It is not the intention of the presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -Day Saints to tell women that they should, or should not wear pants, nor how long there dresses should be.” This was put out by the church in 1971 or 72 during the height of woman’s liberation movement, yet church culture still insist that if we wear pants to church we(women) are not keeping promises made at baptism.

“but it’s important to appear just as clean and pure as our hearts”

My patient’s and staff and wife think I look clean and pure in spite of the beard. Fooled them all once again though if I were clean shaven they’d still be fooled so might as well keep the beard.

#45 Interesting, but all the men that I know teach in the primary as a couple with their wife. I wonder if men are considered auxiliary teachers and therefore somehow exempt from the chain of command?

“Imagine what we call the two-chapel monstrosities that supposedly are intended to house an entire stake.”

Most folks don’t even know about these except the 4 in Northern California and one in Southern California. Luckily, or unluckily, their utilization has never been fully realized except for short periods of time.

I called them over sized Taco Bells because that is what they reminded me of.

“And now..(thank you, June Foray, 92 and still the most verbose squirrel)..here’s something we hope you’ll reallly like!”

#54…Yo! Hawkgrrl, did Mickey Goldmill make you catch the chicken with your bare hands before you could get the YW medallion? Tough ward! Maybe youse shoulda been workin’ da Philly docks!

The late Robert J Matthews, who was the prinicpal author of the Bible Dictionary included in the 1979 LDS KJV version, debunked many of the assertions of the inadequacy of the KJV and showed some counters to charges about Joseph Smith included alledged “errors” when transcribing Isaiah verses into the BoM. In short, even if King Jimmy “El Primero” was attempting to counter the recent Catholic Duoai version (1582) and thus reduce the influence of “Popish” persons (read the KJV preamble) for political reasons, his scholars did a bang-up job. For that reason, and the inevitable rock-throwing that would occur IF the Church did put out its own “Inspired Version Redux”, we’re best off with the “old skool” version that has served the English-speaking world for ALMOST 400 years.

Doug,

“The late Robert J Matthews, who was the principal author of the Bible Dictionary included in the 1979 LDS KJV version, debunked many of the assertions of the inadequacy of the KJV”

Well, he certainly had a vested interest in doing that at that time. I don’t think that anyone is saying that KJV is THAT bad, it is just that I was wondering why, if we have an Articles of Faith That says ‘as far as it is translated correctly,’ that that effort has not been made when better source materials are available AND there are some many references in our scriptures on corrections to the KJV translation.

///I wonder why people who’ve never lived in the west and had to depend on the weather for survival get such a kick out the quaint term “moisture”.////
And to think, I was just about to laugh about the ‘moisture’ thing. I should repent, O wretched man that I am!