I am a 50+ year old life-long member who is eternally committed to a talented and caring LDS woman and our 30+ year temple marriage. We have struggled with intimacy and sexual dysfunction our entire marriage. Not withstanding that we were chaste during our dating and short engagement, there seemed to be passion in our relationship and she seemed to enjoy kissing. It seemed to me that she was just as anxious as I was (if not more so at times) for sexual relations after marriage. During our engagement, she disclosed that she had engaged in some petting with...
abuse
Sorrowing for Korihor
Mormon Heretic’s post on forgiveness from a few weeks ago touched me deeply, but I needed time to get my thoughts together about it before I could respond. I once had the neighbor from hell. I use the expression with theological intent. Smart and relentlessly treacherous, he was somewhere on the spectrum from malignant narcissist to full-fledged sociopath, and I had no desire to observe closely enough to find out where. I do not know what horror had befallen him — if anything more significant than a stray cosmic ray hitting the genome at the wrong time — but...
The Next Victim
This post is by our guest, Leah. He is getting his temple recommend renewed. He has his humble face on. He has paid up his financial obligations to his children. He is going through the outward steps of repentance again, assembling the props he needs to act the perfect husband. But this time it is not for me, it is for her. He is telling her that he wants the white picket fence, the family and a dog. He couldn’t have told her how the most significant times when his abuse became physical were when I was pregnant. I...
Then I Will Believe
Our guest post today is by SilverRain, who blogs at The Rains Came Down. When Jesus was suffering on the cross at Calvary, those who put Him there surrounded Him to mock Him. They jeered, “If the King of Israel . . . come down from the cross, and we will believe . . . .” (Matt 27:42) I have emerged from the other end of a marriage that stripped me of my ability to trust myself. It is taking hard work to believe the things that I have survived. I have been accused of things I...
Patriarchal Hierarchy and the Kingship Model
OT SS Lesson #21 When we lived in Saudi Arabia a few years ago, I obtained a faculty position in the fairly newly-formed department of Health and P.E. at a university which was strictly segregated by gender. The women’s side of the university operated independently, with our own female custodians, technical staff, professors and administration, and very little oversight from the male president. Our department consisted of five women, and we made all decisions collectively, with no titular head. After the first semester I was there, one of our staff meetings was dedicated to the question of whether we...
Bad, Worse and Worst
I would like to use Genesis 12 (and an interesting post by Aaron B from BCC) to examine the inverse of Elder Oak’s famous talk ‘Good, Better and Best’. Simply stated Abraham was married to Sarai (who was apparently pretty hot!) and Pharoah was going to want to marry her. His choice: either die as her husband and have his wife forced into marriage (in effect raped) or live as her ‘brother’ and have his wife forced into marriage (and in effect raped). What to do?
Home Teaching the Mentally Ill
I posted a longer version of this on my blog. Last month I had the most unusual experience I have ever had in regards to home teaching.
Richard Dawkins, God and Santa Claus: Belief as a Form of Abuse
Between Christmas and New Year I had the opportunity to meet with some friends and at one point during the evening we began discussing the role of Santa Claus in raising children. As I was thinking about what was said on the way home I recalled an article I had read in the ‘New Scientist’ which discussed whether teaching children about Santa Claus is a ‘harmless fantasy’ or whether it is a ‘cruel deception’ . This then led me to consider whether believing in God is a similar relationship?
A Child Is Born In Bukavu
A Christmas message, by today’s guest poster, mormongandhi. A child is born in Bukavu A child is born in Bukavu, and sadness fills his mother’s heart… Bukavu is not the city of David. It is a town in the eastern part of the Democratic Republic of Congo. War has been ravaging the country for years. Ever since Kabila invaded the former Zaire with military support from the US. It is a war that no one speaks of – but it has cost the lives of millions of people and caused unimaginable suffering.
Brother Brigham Brother Young
Recently I drove up Little Cottonwood Canyon with my brother and nephew. This is the canyon in which many of your ancestors pulled out the granite for the construction of the salt lake temple. As soon as we passed the granite facings on the side of the canyon my nephew played a song on his iPod by Corb Lund Brother Brigham Brother Young and it brought mental flashes into my mind of men working on the side of the mountain blasting granite out of it. It made me think of the struggles that men and women had even back...
‘I really think it would be best if you ended your remarks at this point?’
John Remy posted an interesting blog/video where a man, speaking about his concern with the Church’s practice and policy during the Prop 8 debate, was asked by the Bishop to stop. The man protested and was allowed to finish but the Microphone was turned off. What would make you ask someone to sit down?
Women are from Venus, Men are from Kolob
Based on my experience, I would guess that the majority of LDS women under age 65 would say that polygamy is NOT an eternal principle and that it doesn’t require any earthly worrying as a result. While the men are probably not worrying about it (although any of them who are married to me should think twice about expecting additional wives in the future), my impression is that a higher percentage of them believe it is an eternal principle that will be practiced long term.
Please Respect the Rules of Common Decency
This is an administrative post that is irrelevant to most of you. For that, I apologize. However, we have had a surge recently in comments left by dedicated anti-Mormon activists – comments that have NOTHING to do with the posts on which they appear and that contain NOTHING constructive or enlightening. We also have had a few comments by believing members that have come perilously close to crossing the lines of common decency, and one in particular that crossed those lines.
Is Accountability a Good or Bad Thing?
I am struck regularly by how many members fail to focus on the life of Jesus and, thus, fail to realize that there are incredible lessons (particularly in the Gospels) about specific things we can do to become more like Him – things that can lessen the effects of our sins and actually help decrease the frequency of those sins – thus bringing internal peace and a measure of calmness to our lives in the here and now, regardless of the storms that rage therein. I believe we sometimes buy into the apostate obsession with the afterlife – as...
Are we going to be Eunuchs after this life?
My home teacher (who is very cool) came by yesterday to drop off some starter cables for my car and as one does in that short interlude we discussed the celestial kingdom and being Gods after this life. He believed that those who don’t make it to the highest kingdom in the Celestial Kingdom won’t have any sexual relationships and if you don’t have sexual relationships their will be no need for sexual organs.
Families Forver Naked and Not Ashamed
Mormon Matters Motto is Exploring Mormon culture in a balanced way- so bare with me on this one (excuse the pun).
The Problem with Whistleblowers
A whistleblower is someone internal to an organization who alleges misconduct. So, what if the organization is the church? Does the church handle whistleblowers effectively or not? If so, how? If not, why not?
Worship of the Unborn
It seems that only the most controversial gets much attention here on Mormon Matters, so I thought I would weigh on the subject of the abortion and the unborn. Let me start by saying that I am unabashedly pro-choice.
Virtual RS/PH: Stand Fast Through the Storms of Life
This week’s lesson is an interesting compilation of horrifying stories of persecution and suffering from the life of Joseph Smith. Read on if you dare . . .
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