Posts Tagged ‘ sexuality ’

215: Mormonism’s Modesty and Sexuality Discourse

March 3, 2014
By
215: Mormonism’s Modesty and Sexuality Discourse

The cover of the March 2014 Ensign highlights an article, “The Lord’s Standard of Morality” by Elder Tad R. Callister, that has been the subject of much Internet talk of late, with most voices recognizing the importance of the subject and good desires of the author and those who chose to publish it but expressing concern that some of its messaging might be more harmful than helpful for youth negotiating the important transition from childhood to adulthood, including sexuality. In this episode, two therapists, Natasha Helfer Parker and Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, who both work closely with Latter-day Saints struggling through issues often related to negative…

Read more »

170–171: Toward Expanding and Improving LDS Discourse about Sexuality

April 22, 2013
By
170–171: Toward Expanding and Improving LDS Discourse about Sexuality

So often in Mormon discourse, the term “virtue” is treated almost exclusively as relating to sexual purity, chastity, and virginity, completely missing its much broader and wonderfully expansive meanings. Similarly, most talk about “morality,” “passion,” “modesty,” and “sensuality” are spoken about almost solely in terms of sexuality. We receive, without careful parsing, statements about how molestation and rape victims have been deprived of “that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue” (Moroni 9:9). Messaging and publications for youth still put forth the idea that sexual sins are “next to murder” in seriousness, never…

Read more »

91: Cleanflix and What Its Story Reveals about Mormon Culture

April 17, 2012
By
91: Cleanflix and What Its Story Reveals about Mormon Culture

The documentary film Cleanflix tells the story of the dramatic rise and fall of businesses (based primarily in Utah) that rented and sold versions of Hollywood movies in which they had edited out bad language, nudity, sex scenes, gore, graphic violence, and anything else that they considered not a match for community standards. In telling the story from its origins to the court case that declared the practices as in violation of copyright agreements to the continuing saga of stores that refused to shut down even after the businesses were declared illegal, the film highlights deeply embedded attitudes in Mormon…

Read more »

74: Writing Mormon Lives

February 14, 2012
By
74: Writing Mormon Lives

Phyllis Barber and Joanna Brooks are two of Mormonism’s bravest voices, writers of memoirs in which they offer us privileged glimpses of their inner lives, their comings of age in all the kinds of awkwardness that entails, including learning how to inhabit their bodies and sexuality in healthy ways, tensions between the path indicated by LDS narratives and the various other possibilities suggested by other stories that surround them, struggles with theological ideas and legacies that are especially difficult for women, their searches for place in and peace with the tradition and people into which they were born and “cultured.”…

Read more »

43: Healthy Approaches to Teaching Modesty

July 20, 2011
By
43: Healthy Approaches to Teaching Modesty

In today’s LDS youth programs, especially those for young women, modesty has become even more of an emphasis than in years and decades past. Of course modesty is important, but are some of the ways modesty is being taught today more harmful than helpful for youth who are undergoing important transitions in their lives? Is modesty being taught too often as an end in itself rather than as a fruit that flows from a life and self-image rooted in healthy spiritual, emotional, and physical confidence? Furthermore, is modesty being taught too early, becoming an emphasis far ahead of when it…

Read more »

33: The LDS Church and Its Single Young Adults, Part 2

May 25, 2011
By
33: The LDS Church and Its Single Young Adults, Part 2

Episode 31 provided a solid first framing of many of the issues faced by Mormon young single adults—of which group, some 80 percent are becoming inactive at least for a period of time, and many are deciding to leave the church altogether. This episode follows up on that discussion, but focuses on hearing the voices of those in this age group themselves, hearing in their own words about their spiritual journeys, their experiences in singles wards, the messages that are being taught from the pulpit, in classes, and through interactions with church leaders, and the ways these messages are being…

Read more »

How do I help my wife overcome sexual trauma?

October 15, 2010
By

I am a 50+ year old life-long member who is eternally committed to a talented and caring LDS woman and our 30+ year temple marriage. We have struggled with intimacy and sexual dysfunction our entire marriage. Not withstanding that we were chaste during our dating and short engagement, there seemed to be passion in our relationship and she seemed to enjoy kissing. It seemed to me that she was just as anxious as I was (if not more so at times) for sexual relations after marriage. During our engagement, she disclosed that she had engaged in some petting with some…

Read more »

Sexual Naivete – pros and cons?

October 1, 2010
By

The following question is one I recently received on my blog that I have not answered yet.  Who wants to help me out?  What advice would you give? I’m a pretty naive Mormon girl, raised in a super conservative environment. I have a boyfriend and I’m just discovering kissing, but since I know next to nothing about sex and physicality, I don’t really know if I’ve done anything wrong. For instance, I just found out what dry humping is and I’m worried I’ve done it, but I still don’t know what it is and what it means. Can you help…

Read more »

Erotica versus Pornography…

September 30, 2010
By

Seeing as how we are doing some restructuring at Mormon Matters, I am going to take advantage of this “space” to encourage communication around issues and questions that often come up on my blog.  Because sexuality represents such a high percentage of what I’m being asked about by LDS members, I am currently working on my “sex therapist” accreditation.  Although I am qualified to do sex therapy as a Marriage & Family Therapist, I am wanting extra training in this area.  So please bear with my topic and join me in sharing your thoughts on these types of  “Mormon Matters.” …

Read more »

Mormon Therapist on Sexless Marriage

September 22, 2010
By

My wife never touches me… I am quite frustrated in my marriage and it stems from issues of sex and intimacy. I have been married for 15 years, and we have four children, the youngest just started Kindergarten. My marriage has devolved into almost a roommate situation. My wife has no interest in sex, and she never shows me any affection whatsoever.

Read more »

The Mormon Therapist on Sexual Education

August 11, 2010
By

We have reached the point where we need to begin having discussions with our child about sex. Our child is 9. One of the major issues is what to teach them on this particular issue- masturbation. I don’t want to condone the practice but I also don’t want them to feel completely terrible about themselves and their value as a person if they slip sometimes. My view of this practice is not as hard-line as the Church’s view. How is the best way to go about opening up discussions with children about this issue?

Read more »

The Mormon Therapist on Appropriate Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

July 14, 2010
By

Is anal sex wrong? I asked my husband to do it once because I was curious and he was more than willing to oblige. We’ve done it a couple of times and I have enjoyed it about half the time, depending on my mood. We haven’t done it in a long time, but I was wondering if it was wrong to experiment to such an extent. Same with oral sex: I’ve heard two camps with one saying it’s absolutely wrong and not spiritually uplifting and therefore shouldn’t be done, while others say once you’re married anything is game. That would…

Read more »

The Doctor Is IN: An Interview with The Mormon Therapist

July 17, 2009
By

Natasha Helfer Parker is a licensed therapist who has counseled the LDS community for 12 years.  In 2009, she began a blog called The Mormon Therapist, answering questions from readers from the standpoint of a faithful LDS therapist.  We were able to get her to answer a few questions about her site, issues Mormons face, and to get her sound advice.

Read more »

Celibacy and Sexuality

February 9, 2009
By

As they say, sex sells. The church has had a lot to say about sex and sexuality. It’s been on a winding path, but over time it has developed a rather comprehensive universe-view to back its positions. I like to think, even if some people vehemently disagree with the church position, or think that the church has become bland on certain doctrinal points in relationship to its past, LDS doctrines concerning the family have been consistently unique, fresh, and vitalic (even though that’s not a word, no other word sounds right to me…so hush up!)

Read more »

New Evidence for Sexual Discretion- Stephen Wellington

March 21, 2008
By
New Evidence for Sexual Discretion- Stephen Wellington

Read more »