I’ve spent some time over the years thinking about questions that remain in regards to the logistics of the afterlife.As I was pondering upon this topic and watching, ‘So You Think You Can Dance,’ I realized that no matter what it’s like in the celestial realm, there will most certainly be some positive changes:
- Home teaching. If God’s capable of reading the minds, and hearing/sorting through prayers from seven billion people speaking 1,000+ languages and dialects simultaneously here on Earth, surely he has a grip on the status of everyone in the afterlife. And after all, isn’t it only blue skies and crying babies anyway? So, I’m guessing that the monthly calls that everyone tries to avoid will be a thing of the past.
- Moving. There was a time when we were moving 2-3 families a month into and out of our Ward. I’m nearly moved-to-tears at the idea of not moving anyone in the eternal abode. They’ll catch their own ride to their assigned home planet and start the procreating without any boxes, U-Haul, etc. Wahoo!
- Church Welfare. I’m not sure how many of you would enjoy sitting across a desk from a neighbor and telling them to dump cell phones, cars, RV’s, etc., to reduce monthly expenses, but I dread it. With the celestial streets paved in gold, welfare shouldn’t be an issue. Although it brings up further questions: is the gold only in the Celestial Kingdom, or do all three come equally-equipped in this area, and more importantly, if a resource isn’t rare anymore, is it really worth anything? But I digress…
- Church Meetings. Now here’s an interesting one to me. After we’ve ‘made it’ will we have to go to any Church meetings anymore? Since we’ll already know everyone else’s thoughts, I assume that we’ll know what that person would give a talk about, before the talk is even given. I think I’m safe to say that Sunday may turn out to truly be days of rest in the hereafter. Don’t get me wrong – I suppose that sitting in a chair for twelve hours every Sunday could be considered resting to a guy that works in construction, but…
- Travel. There were few things that I hated more while raising my kids here on Earth than long car trips with children under five. With all the child-rearing that will be going on eternally in the netherworlds, I’m really hoping that there aren’t celestial maxi-vans and that travel will be more-or-less instantaneous, like what we see on Star Trek, but with much larger teleportation pads that can facilitate a few thousand kids at a time.
- In-laws and extended-family reunions. Since we’re all, ‘brothers and sisters,’ will we still be expected to visit in-laws in the hereafter? I can’t imagine having extended-family reunions either, since a gathering of tens of billions would take some massive coordination, and that doesn’t even include the Neanderthals. On that note, are the Kingdoms going to be species-segregated, or will we all get lumped together? I enjoy the thought of seeing Fido again, but not so much being chased by the saber-toothed tigers and velociraptors.
So, what are the to-die-for changes that you’re most looking forward to in the afterlife?
Bishop Mike Young
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I am looking forward to eating as much chocolate as I want and not having to worry if my kids are getting enough fruits and veggies everyday. I won’t care if the kids go to a friend’s house and eat sugar (in all of its many forms) all day long because it won’t matter! (At least it better not!) 🙂
Also, not having to worry about kids wearing helmets, and being watched all the time will be a big relief. I think my biggest relief though will be not having to sit next to a teenager in the car who is learning to drive on the freeway for the first time. 🙁
I’m worried there will be no golf. Sex I might be able to do without, but not golf.
I guess wireless blogging would take on a whole new meaning.
OK, Bishop Young… I’ve just read several posts on your blog and I just have to know (as a nonmember) … are you for real? Satirical has hell or true-blue Mormon with a wicked sense of humor?
Count me in on “no family reunions”! Much more convenient, although on the home teaching, I always thought we’d be obligated to go visit our relatives in any of the lower kingdoms, take cookies, catch up on the latest gossip, whatnot.
I wonder if the Church won’t operate in ways that are similar to many of the things we experience now. And as far as family reunions go, I would hope that people will be kinder there and, therefore, some FR be a lot more fun!
I love the idea of having no illness, pain, or poverty. These issues make life here so difficult for so many. And, I especially like the idea of our Savior ruling and reigning on this earth. Militarism, materialism, and immorality make present political and social systems weak at best and corrupt at worst. (see President Kimball, 1976 talk, “The False Gods We Worship.”
On this note, Julian Barnes has written a short story about eternal life – in ‘The History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters – analysing what it will be like to enjoy the good things (in which he includes golf btw) and just getting fed up of them and seeking annihilation. I worry more about getting fed up with the good thigns in this life.
#4 – Sundance Kid – I try to keep it real, but that sometimes includes real lame, or real strange, can be real sincere (on rare occasion), real interesting (to myself mostly, I’m sure), and in rare moments just real. Can a ‘True-Blue Mormon’ enjoy the company of Samuel Longhorn Clemens and President Monson? I’m hoping so!
#7 – Aaron – I’d second your book recommendation of, ‘The History…’ Barnes statement of history being told through the perspective of the writer, and then re-told through other eyes, is a very interesting (and funny!) read.
“And as far as family reunions go, I would hope that people will be kinder there and, therefore, some FR be a lot more fun!” Well, you take that spirit with you that you had in this life . . . Mostly I’d like to avoid lame cheesiness, group tee shirts, skits, and potluck. I guess that puts me in the “less kindly” camp.
On the family reunion topic – where would you draw the line? The generations that you’d be familiar with and want to include, would also want to include a previous earthly generation whom they’d be familiar with. There’s got to be some wild organization capabilities up there.
I’m hoping that when the earth becomes a Urim & Thummim it will also have some cool facial recognition software that will enable us to quickly see which of our ancestors looked most like us. I know it’s superficial, but those are the ones I want to meet! Only what if they are jerks? Personally, I think that even people who are irritating might be in the CK. On a given day I even think especially people who are irritating . . .
I look foward to getting guitar lessons from Jimi Hendrix and Jerry Garcia. I miss my Mon and Dad and also my Father and Mother in Law (does that sound strange?)and look forward to seeing them again.
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I am looking forward to eating as much chocolate as I want and not having to worry if my kids are getting enough fruits and veggies everyday. I won’t care if the kids go to a friend’s house and eat sugar (in all of its many forms) all day long because it won’t matter! (At least it better not!) 🙂
Jen good point, I think most of us like chocolate but I think you’ll find that it will only be served in the highest kingdom of the Celestial Kingdom. Your probably very aware from having your own children what goes in must come out (Its a natural law) So if your a TK smoothie my dear their will be not chocolate for you, quite simply because their is no place for it to go.
You may want this confirmed by Bishop Young but more often than not we are singing from the same hymn book
Joseph Smith said that the same sociality (the way we socialize) that exists here will exist after this life.